


Throwing Down the Gauntlet

by Trudy



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-01 01:29:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14509527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trudy/pseuds/Trudy
Summary: AU. Fix-fic, sort of. Peter succeeds in pulling the gauntlet off Thanos.





	1. 14,000,605 to 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Spoilers for Infinity Wars.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter disappears.  
> Tony copes badly.

Tony had turned away from the kid for what felt like just a moment. His attention hadn't been on Peter then -- it was on Quill.

He hadn't noticed it at first. He was so preoccupied with dragging -- _screaming_ at Quill that he didn't notice Peter shouting "It's coming! I got it! I got it! I got it!" somewhere in the background. His entire focus was on Quill, on pulling him back, on salvaging the plan he was convinced was going to save the universe.

He should have known the original plan was ruined then, but he didn't. 

Thanos let out a roar of anger, sending Mantis flying over his shoulders; her head hit the ground hard against the debris of Thanos' former home city. He kicked Drax back, sending the remainder of the so-called Guardians of the Galaxy flying back with him. 

And then Thanos moved forward, swinging the massive arm that was bound by Strange's eldritch whip and sent him flying too. He moved forward, past him, and Tony hadn't even known why until his eyes turned to his destination, and he saw Peter slip the gauntlet onto his hand.

"Peter!" The name left Tony's lips more panicked than he wanted it to. 

Peter's eyes snapped up at him, and looked at him with an expression Tony could only describe as resolute.

Thanos lunged at Peter with a roar as Tony launched himself at Thanos.

And then both Peter and Thanos were gone.

* * *

"Tony. There was no other way."

Inside his head, Tony can still hear that little warning Strange gave him back on the goddamned donut ship. 

_You have to understand. If it comes to saving you, or the kid, or the Time Stone, I will not hesitate to let you both die._

And he feels the anger rise up inside of him. He swivels around and grabs Strange by the shoulders, then slams him against the exterior wall of the ship.

"Bullshit!"

"14,000,605. That's how many possible futures I saw. This was the only one where we'd defeat him."

"You didn't think to tell us that before now?!"

Everyone was standing behind them, silent. They didn't know what to say, and quite frankly, Tony wouldn't have said anything if Strange hadn't opened his mouth and provoked him. But now, Tony was grateful for it, because anger was building up inside of him and with Thanos gone, he had nowhere to direct it. 

Now he did.

"Time is malleable," Strange said calmly. "Telling you or anyone else would have changed the outcome."

Tony felt his grip on the wizard loosening, but he didn't let go. Not yet.

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know."

Tony shoved Strange away and stormed away from the group.

* * *

Their journey back to Earth turned out to be a quiet one. At least for the first few hours. No one seemed to know what to say, and quite frankly, Tony didn't want to talk to anyone anyway. All he could do was think. Think about where Peter might have gone. Think about how to find him. Think about whether or not Peter was alive. Think about what he'd have to say to May.

God, he didn't want to have to have that conversation.

Quill brought up Thanos -- was he still alive? and Tony had to force his gaze to the wall because he was as mad at Quill as he was at Strange. And right now, whether or not Thanos was alive was only of concern to him when he wondered if Peter survived it. 

When the ship landed, Tony realized there were other things. Press conferences, Pepper (who was probably rightfully furious at him), Steve and whoever else he needed to make amends with. He wanted to shrug off all those responsibilities in an instant and just not deal with any of it until he was ready for it. But he knew it wasn't an option.

He handed his card off to Nebula as they landed, because he's pretty sure if he talked to Quill, he'd end up blowing a gasket. He can't believe he still had his cards on him, let alone his entire wallet. "You'll want to stay here," he says, tapping the card. "I'll have Happy pick you up. For now, stay in the ship, and don't leave it." 

Quill made a noise from behind Tony, but didn't quite manage to get the words out.

The ship ramp began to descending, revealing a field circled by forest. Tony turned and looked at the wizard. 

"Strange, you plan on sticking around?"

"I have somewhere I need to be."

"Keep in touch." Tony gave him a casual pat of the shoulder right as the ramp hit the Earth. Behind him, Tony heard the faint sizzling sound of one of Strange's portals, then made his way down the ramp. 

He fished his phone -- not the burner he lost somewhere during that first fight on Earth -- presses a few buttons, then holds the cell up to his ear. 

It rang for what felt like forever. And then on the fourth ring he heard the sound of a familiar voice:

" _Tony_?"

"Sorry I missed dinner," he said. "I just landed. Promise I'll make it up to you. Think you can pick me up?"

There was a silence on the phone that made something catch in Tony's throat. He attempted to dislodge it, but before he can fully dislodge it, Pepper's voice cuts right through it.

"Where can I pick you up?"

* * *

There were about a million things Tony needs to be doing. Dinner with Pepper should be the last on his to-do list, but somehow it became the first.

He fully expected Pepper to be furious with him, but she wasn't. She didn't ask any questions or say anything. She just waited until he was ready to talk. He's overwhelmed with gratitude and Tony Stark is rarely overwhelmed by anything.

"Peter's gone," he said finally.

"Gone?" Pepper turns to look at him, her brows furrowed, her mouth open in alarm. It only lasted a moment before she redirected her attention back to the road, but Tony could see her looking over at him whenever she could spare a glance.

"Yeah." Tony swallowed audibly. "Bad alien bad guy, Infinity Stones, magic gauntlet, destroying the universe." He waved a hand dismissively. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

But Pepper, as usual, wasn't buying it. "You can't be serious."

" _What?_ "

"You just said Peter's gone and you're just making a joke of it?"

"I'm not making a joke of it."

"Don't attempt to deflect me, Tony. I've known you long enough for it to work on me."

Tony let out a light sigh. "The big bad, Thanos. He was collecting these Infinity Stones for his magic gauntlet. Planned on destroying the galaxy with it. I don't know."

Pepper turned to look at him.

"We were fighting him. Quill came up with a good plan --" He knows Pepper doesn't know who Quill is, but he can't do any more explaining right now than he is already. " -- but managed to bungle it up with his temper."

Pepper looked at the road before letting her gaze flicker back to Tony.

"The kid and I, we were -- we were working on getting the gauntlet off. Quill was losing it, so I grabbed him. Left Parker alone to deal with it."

Tony took a breath.

"And he got the gauntlet off. I didn't even think --"

Tony shakes his head, the runs two fingers up the bridge of his nose. He felt tears stinging at his eyes, and hated this. Hated being so vulnerable. Hated that it was happening in front of Pepper even though Pepper should be the one person in this universe he should be comfortable doing this with, but right now she's not.

He's not sure anybody is.

Tony doesn't finish his sentence. "He put the gauntlet on and disappeared. Him and the big bad with him."

For a moment, Pepper was speechless. Then suddenly, she blurts out what's likely to be the first of many questions:

"Have you told May yet? I've been fielding her calls ever since you disappeared. I can tell her, I just --"

"No." Tony's voice was firm, in a tone that clearly made it clear that he was in no mood for an argument. "I'll tell her." A beat. "Just not right now."

Pepper gave him a look, and for once, Tony wasn't able to read it.

"Right now, I just want to have a quiet dinner with you. Just like I promised."

Pepper attempted a smile, and he attempted one right back. "Okay," she said. "But only after we get you a shower."

"Only if you're in it with me," he quipped.

This time, Pepper really smiled. And so did Tony.


	2. Come What May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony copes in his own way.  
> Pepper tries to be there for Tony, but doesn't know how.  
> Another press conference Tony doesn't want to be at.  
> Tony tries to find the nerve to tell May.

Tony knew he was putting it off. Dinner with Pepper was just an excuse. May had left a dozen voicemails on his phone ever since he entered the atmosphere and his cell had reception again. The only reason Pepper hadn't talked to her already was because she was busy, too. 

That and she accidentally left her cell on Tony's workdesk. She probably was looking for it right now, but it wasn't as if Tony could give her a ring and let her know she'd left it there.

The press conference was in two hours. At that point, May would know he was back. And at that point, there wouldn't be any more excuses. There'd be a conversation. And right now, Stark was done with conversations.

Dinner the night before managed to be normal. Or as normal as it could be. Tony didn't feel like going out so they had take-out from Chan's and sat around the table eating chow mein and General Tso's chicken right out of the box. Pepper didn't ask what happened, and he didn't offer. It was as if everything on Titan didn't happen.

And frankly, Tony wished it hadn't.

They made love afterwards, which was probably the one thing Tony needed more than anything else in the world. He'd deny it if anyone ever made the accusation, but there was something he got out of having sex with Pepper that he didn't get out of anyone else he'd slept with.

And he'd slept with many, many people.

It wasn't something he could describe. He was always better with technology than he was at words, which probably explained why he couldn't talk about things the way normal people did. But somehow, sleeping with Pepper was the purest form of communication for him. Everything was transparent, clear, and everything was laid out bare. It wasn't obfuscated with one of his witticisms or screwed up by his fucked-up brain. When they made love, she knew that he loved her, and he knew that she loved him, with utter and complete certainty.

Right now, he needed to believe he could be loved because there was so little he loved about himself.

Pepper's cell phone vibrated on the table and he picked it up to look at it. May was calling.

His thumb hovered over the green icon on the screen, and Tony suddenly became aware that it was shaking over it. He placed the phone, screen-down on the table and left his office.

* * *

"Is Steve gonna be here?"

"Couldn't make it." Pepper smoothed out Tony's jacket, though there's no sign of creasing that he can see. She was nervous. He could tell.

"Is he still ticked at me?"

Pepper looked up at him, her expression perplexed. "No, he's still in Wakanda. The place is essentially a disaster zone. Tony, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You shouldn't lie."

"I'm not fine," he said. "But I'll have to be in ten minutes. Give me some time to get into character."

"Okay." Pepper brushed down his jacket again, and Tony felt himself bristling with irritation. There wasn't any reason for him to be angry at Pepper. If this were any other day, he'd probably preen over being doted upon. Right now, he didn't even so much as wanted to be touched.

Finally, Pepper withdrew her hands, looked up at him, and smiled. It was the kind of practiced smile that retail workers and waitresses gave you before they realized you were Tony Stark. "You're going to do fine, Tony."

And for once in his life, Tony didn't look convinced.

* * *

"...and Thanos, for the time being, is believed to be contained."

It'd been seven minutes of talking and outside of those few minutes he spent locked in the throes of combat against _Frankenberry_ , self-declared _savior of the universe_ , it's felt like the longest seven minutes of his life. 

Tony knew it wasn't over yet.

"Thank you," he finished. He's barely finished the words before the reporters all began shouting at once. Tony's head was spinning. He'd rather be stuck in an elevator with Steve Rogers, talking their issues out than be stuck in this room for any second longer.

That wasn't an option, though. Tony gestured randomly to one of the reporters. The crowd quiets down.

" _Believed_ to be contained?" she asked. Tony really should have saw this question coming. "Does this mean we can anticipate another attack in the future?" 

"Nothing in this universe is absolutely certain," Tony said, sounding more at ease than he felt. "The stones are in the possession of multiple trusted individuals who are willing to lay down their lives to guarantee their safety." He inhales softly, not quite loud enough for his mic to pick it up. "As long as the Infinity Stones are not in Thanos' possession, we have nothing to worry about. Next question." He directs his finger to another reporter before they can press him harder.

"Steve Rogers--" the reporter began.

"Steve Rogers is a trusted ally to the Avengers," Tony immediately supplied. "He has defended this planet against Thanos' forces and I believe he -- and all those who helped him -- should be pardoned of whatever crimes they are believed to have committed. The choice isn't mine, or else I would have done it already. Next question." He gestured at another reporter.

"There are people who believe that some of the Avengers or their allies have died in this fight. Can you comment?" 

Tony leaned into the mic, so that his voice came out with more of a boom. "No. _No more questions._ "

The reporters began clamoring again, but by then, Tony had tuned them out. He suddenly felt the way he thought one of his pilotless suits might have felt if they suddenly gained sentience. Feeling there, but not there, like they were being controlled by some sort of outside force.

Pepper was there when he stepped through the doors and he's aware she's saying something, but he can't quite make it out. It's not until she's said his name four times that he finally snapped out of it.

"It's always the third question," he said. "It's like there's some grand conspiracy among the reporters to make the third question the hard-hitting one." 

Pepper was frowning. 

"May called your phone five times today," he said. "Your phone is in my office -- forgot to tell you earlier."

"Are you going to call her?" she asked, her voice quiet.

"I'm going to drop by," he said. "If I call her, she won't let me off the phone until I tell her what's going on. She's about as stubborn as her nephew."

Tony feels something lodged somewhere in his throat. And it was if Pepper knew, because she leaned up and kissed him then, the soft, sweet kind of kiss they usually did when they were in public. When her heels hit the ground, she was still looking up at him. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"That's a complicated question. Do I want you to come, or do I think you should come?"

"Both."

"I want you to come," Tony said. "But I don't think you should. You should stay here. Be ready to provide morale support when I inevitably return with a faceful of bruises. Can you make sure my doctor's on call?"

Pepper made a sound that was not quite a laugh but sort-of sounded like one.

"Promise me you'll do it today," Pepper said.

"I'll leave my office unlocked." And before Pepper can badger him any more than she has already, he heads towards the back exit.

* * *

Tony had been sitting in his car outside of May's apartment building for half an hour now. He was parked in a fire lane because there wasn't anywhere else to park, _this was Queens_ , and he was positive that at any moment a police officer was going to show up and chew him a new one -- at least until they saw who they were yelling at.

Tony took a deep breath. And then another one. He looked at the rearview mirror for what has to be the thirteenth time in the last five minutes. He reached for the door handle and came closer to touching it than he did his last attempt.

He laid back in his chair with an audible sound and stared up at the roof of his Audi. He'd already rehearsed this conversation in his head about six times since he drove down from Avengers HQ to here, but now his mind was drawing a complete blank. 

Then abruptly, Tony reached for the door handle. This time, he managed to open the door. 

He took another breath, then slipped one leg out the door, and then the other. He stood, feeling more solid than he had inside the car, and shut the door behind him before he could lose his nerve.

Tony tapped the button for his car alarm and stared up at the building. The car beeped pleasantly in response.

"Seventh floor," he murmured to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the comments and kudos. It's seriously encouraging and motivating. It's a big part of why I gunned through Chapter Two before bed tonight, so thanks for being the driving force behind this update. Let's see if I can keep up the pace.


	3. The Spider-Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony talks to May.  
> Peter talks to Tony.

The elevator was broken.

The complex looked like the sort of place where the elevator was broken constantly, but the thought hadn't occurred to Tony the first time he visited. Probably because the elevator was working then. A worn paper sign ("Out of Order") was taped to the elevator doors. Tony looked over at the door behind him, a metal placard labeled **Stairs** drilled into it.

Stairs it was.

Tony was halfway up the fifth floor when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He fished it out and looked at it. May. His thumb hovered over the green ACCEPT CALL icon. This time it wasn't shaking.

"Hey, I'm headed to your place now," Tony said smoothly. "Your landlord really needs to take care of this elevator." His feet hit the platform that separated the sixth and 7th floor. "Think this is an ADA violation, especially if it's been out of service awhile. You have their number? I can--"

He was interrupted by the soft sound of May's voice cracking. Whatever she was trying to say, she couldn't get it out.

"I can give them a ring for you," he finished. "Pull a couple of strings." 

Tony sighed. She knew. And he knew if he answered the phone that she'd know, but he did it anyway. He was one floor down and he thought --

\-- he didn't think. He wasn't thinking.

"Look, I'll be up there in a minute. Let's talk then."

May hung up on him. Tony looked at his phone for what felt like the millionth time that day and tucked it back into his pocket.

* * *

It took awhile for May to calm down.

Tony chalked it up to his own inability to calm anyone. It wasn't as if he grew up with an open father whose behavior he could emulate in these situations. Tony knew it was a piss-poor excuse. He was 48. He had plenty of time to figure this shit out, functional father or no.

The rest had been long explanations. He told her everything that happened, starting from the moment Spider-Man swooped in right in the middle of combat. May managed to stay quiet the whole time, clearly taking in the story. Whenever he mentioned Peter, she brought her hand to her face, her index finger was pressed against her mouth and her thumb was pressed against her cheek. Her expression navigated from worried/pensive to _wanting to slap him_ quite easily. 

Pepper had trained him well. He'd seen her use both of those expressions more than once. He wouldn't blame May if she wanted to slap him. Or punch him. May looked like more of a puncher than a slapper.

"I don't think he's dead," Tony said.

" _What reason do you have to believe he's not dead?_ " May's back to the _wanting to punch him look_.

Tony briefly pressed his lips together. It's not often that he's at a loss for words, but he is now. An oppressive silence filled the room for about fifteen seconds before it was interrupted again.

May stood up and let out a bitter laugh. She turned around and pressed a hand to her forehead.

"I trusted you," she told him. "I _trusted_ you to take care of him. When I found out he was Spider-Man, I didn't want him to do it. But you came here, you talked to me, you _told me_ you'd take care of him."

"May, I--"

" _I don't want to hear it._ I don't. You _promised_ me he'd be fine. And now you come in here and you tell me after he _blinked out of existence_ that you think he's alive, and you can't even give a reason."

Tony didn't know what to say that. He tried to say her name again, but when he opened his mouth, the word didn't come out. He snapped it shut, then focused his gaze on the coffee table.

May spun around, so fast that she drew his gaze back to her. 

"Look at me," she commanded. Tony complied, though his gaze didn't quite meet her eyes. "Look me in the eyes and tell me what you really think happened. Tell me what makes you think he's still alive."

He locked eyes with her. There were tears in her eyes. Tony didn't do tears. He didn't do conversations like this one, either. And right now, he was navigating both.

"I don't know."

"You don't know," May echoed. "I need you to tell me what I'm going to tell Ned. Because _Iron Man says he just disappeared_? That's not going to cut it."

What is he supposed to say to that? Pepper would know. But she's not here. He came here to accept responsibility and he needed to figure out what to say. 

"I'll talk to Ned, it's--"

"No." May's eyes are fierce now. There's real and true anger there. Anger that eclipsed the _I want to punch you look_ she had been giving him before. 

"Get out of my apartment."

And Tony did.

* * *

When Tony pushed past the doors of the complex, he discovered his car was gone. _Great._ He pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket and after a few quick swipes and touches, his phone dialed Pepper's number.

It rang four times before he hung up. 

Tony bristled irritably, then tucked the phone back into his pocket. He should call Happy, have him pick him up. He definitely wouldn't want to talk about it. Or he wouldn't if he knew. Tony hadn't seen him since before the incident. He wasn't sure if Pepper told him the specifics.

Instead, he crossed the street and started walking, with no particular destination in mind. He made it six blocks down before he saw the sign. He didn't even intend to go there. Before the place exploded after that ATM incident, the kid talked about it all the time. He made a note of it in every other one of Happy's voicemails.

Delmar's. A "Newly Re-Opened" banner hung beneath a brand-new sign. Tony pushed open the door and stepped inside, the chime of bells signaling his entrance. 

Delmar looked up from behind the counter. Tony can tell he recognized him, but Delmar doesn't acknowledge it. 

"Hey," Delmar called out at him. 

Tony looked up at the sandwich board overhead. There were twelve sandwiches and each one appeared to be somehow related to Queens. Flushing Meadows. Jackson Heights. Weeping Beech Tree. _Spider-Man._

Tony stopped there. He felt something catch in his throat. 

"You know what you want?" The sound of Delmar's voice pulled him out of it.

"Yeah, I'll have the Spider-Man." The words left his mouth with such casual ease that Tony couldn't actually believe he said them. It was an impulse. Just like coming in here was an impulse. He didn't even know what was on the sandwich and he didn't care. He'd eat it anyway. 

Delmar turned his back to the counter and started working on Tony's order. "We're shorthanded today," he explained. "Usually I'd have someone back here working on the sandwiches. 

"Couldn't tell," Tony quipped. Delmar looked over his shoulder and smiled. Tony gestured up to the board. "No Iron Man?"

Delmar laughed lightly and turned back to his sandwich. "Not yet. Would probably help if we saw more of him around Queens."

He has a point. For a moment, the sound of butcher paper being folded was the only sound between them. Delmar returned to the counter, placed the wrapped sandwich in a paper bag, then handed it to Tony.

"Spider-Man's Queen's own hero. Deserves his own sandwich. 'Sides, don't you already have your own ice cream flavor?"

"Stark Raving Hazelnut," Tony supplied. "How much?"

"It's on the house," Delmar said. "Heroes of the universe might not get sandwiches named after them, but they do get them for free."

Tony swallowed. He wanted to tell him that that isn't true, but he doesn't. Instead, he grabbed the bag and attempted a smile. "Thanks," he said. "I'll try to show my face down here more often. Maybe earn myself a place on the board."

Tony knew that wasn't going to happen.

* * *

Tony dropped the bag on his bed, then sat down. He called a cab shortly after he left Delmar's and the cabbie instantly recognized him. The man chatted with him the hour and a half it took to get from Queens back to the compound.

He needed one thing to go right today. Just one thing. It wasn't unreasonable for him to want that.

His phone vibrated again. Tony looked up at the ceiling, trying to will himself to fish it out. Finally, he does. 

UNKNOWN NUMBER

_Dammit._

He hoped it wasn't Steve because he didn't have the time or energy to deal with that now. The most he could hope for was that he saw the press conference and realized he wasn't angry and then someday they would grab lunch together and not even talk about this. Tony pressed his thumb down on the green ACCEPT CALL button, took a breath, and prepared to speak.

The voice on the other side answered first.

"Mr. Stark?" 

Tony almost dropped his phone.

"Kid, where are you?"

"What happened?"

"Peter. I need you to listen to me. Where. Are. You?"

"No, I'm fine. Really, Mr. Stark."

Tony was on the verge of blowing up. He took a breath and swallowed it down. He didn't need to yell at him right now. He didn't. He didn't know when he would see him again. He didn't know _if_ he was going to see him again. He didn't want to risk his last words to him being like his last words to his father.

"Kid --"

But before Tony could say anything else, his phone began to melt in his hand.

Tony looked down at it uncomprehendingly, the entire device slipping through his fingers like that Dali painting he owned but donated with the rest of his modern art collection to the Boy Scouts back in '11. The weight of the melting device shifted in his hand and the shift in weight carried it down to the floor where it landed with an audible noise Tony couldn't quite place.

Peter's voice was gone.

The realization gradually settled in. Tony fell back into place on the edge of the bed, the paper bag from Delmar's crinkling as he sat down beside it. He looked down at the dark, Dali clock-melted mass of his phone and wondered if he was hallucinating. 

It wouldn't be the first time, and it probably wouldn't be the last.

Tony bent down from his place on the bed and and reached down to touch it, and when he did, it reformed instantly. The words UNKNOWN CALLER were still illuminated on the phone. 

This time, Tony took it into hand and gripped it tightly, as if not entirely sure it were solid or this was real. He looked down at the UNKNOWN CALLER screen and pressed the green ACCEPT CALL button. 

Nothing.

Tony hung up and tried again. Once again, he was greeted by the sound of silence.

Tony ended the call and started another one. 

"Happy, I need you downstairs in five minutes." And before Happy could say anything, he ended the call, pushed open the doors to his room and walked swiftly down the hallway, feeling strangely more solid than he had since Huckleberry Chin and his goons showed up on their planet, aching for a fight.

He had something to accomplish, a place to start, and a distraction from everything he didn't feel like dealing with right now. That's more than he can hope for.

It was time to visit Strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter chapter next. Thanks for the comments and kudos!


	4. Heart of Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter.

When Peter's eyes finally focused, Tony was standing in front of him. Peter was suddenly overcome with a wave of disorientation. He tried to remember what he was doing now, but he's drawing a blank. He didn't remember being here at Avengers Tower. He didn't remember what he was doing. And he didn't remember what he was talking about with Tony before this moment.

"Mr. Stark?"

"Kid, you all right?" 

"What happened?" he asked slowly.

"Looked like you blanked out for a second there," he said dryly. "You want my doctor to give you a once-over?" 

"No, I'm fine. Really, Mr. Stark." Peter straightened in an attempt to look all right.

Tony didn't look entirely convinced. Peter attempted a smile. Tony looked more unconvinced, but gave Peter an awkward, uncertain pat on the back anyway.

"Great," he said, withdrawing his hand. "Because I had something I wanted to talk to you about anyway."

Peter pressed his lips together and looked up at Tony pensively.

Tony snaps a finger down the corridor. "Let's _talk-and-walk_."

Peter was vibrating with nervous energy. It wasn't a spidey-sense thing, because he was a little like Han Solo. The only things he could really sense were bad things and Peter got the feeling this was good.

Peter nodded solemnly and followed. 

"The thing before --" Tony spun a finger in the air. "--where I offered you the suit and a spot on the Avengers? You remember that?"

"Yeah?" _How could he forget?_

"I actually had the reporters there --" Tony started. 

Peter tried to let this sink in, but it wouldn't. He couldn't believe it. This was the sort of thing that happened only in his dreams. Not in _reality_. And yeah, maybe subconsciously he'd made the connection when he was Mr. Stark's engagement press conference, but he couldn't imagine -- 

Before Peter can finish that thought, Tony fished his sentence. 

"-- behind those doors." Tony gestured to the doors as they approached. 

Peter's breath caught in his throat. He looked up at Tony, his anxiety finally materializing on his face.

"Oh, don't worry," Tony said, turning to look at him. "There's no reporters now."

Peter felt his shoulders relax.

"But there could be," he said.

Peter's head snapped up to Tony's face. " _What_?"

"Kid, I'm offering you another chance. You were already knighted back on the ship. But we can make it official. Announce it to everybody. Let them know you're part of our team."

Peter stared up at him. _Our team,_ he thought.

"You in?"

"Uh... _yeah_."

"This is a big decision. An _uh... yeah_ isn't gonna cut it, Parker."

"Yeah. I mean, yes. _Yes, sir._ " 

"You don't have to reveal your identity. Not unless you want to. Seeing the reaction -- that was great. But it wasn't great cleaning up that mess afterward."

Peter remembered watching the press conference with his dad. The big reveal. The verbal explosion from the reporters. The numerous interviews he read online afterwards. And then Peter thought about how that would impact him. The way his life would inevitably be altered forever if he did go through with it.

Peter took a breath. And then he finally spoke.

"I don't think I'm ready."

"Good call," Tony said, patting his shoulder. "I'll have Pepper arrange something this week."

"Yo, Spider-Boy!" The call came from down the corridor. Both he and Tony turned to look. It was Quill.

"Spider- _Man_."

"They're staying at the compound for awhile," Tony said in a low voice. "Should have said something earlier."

"Quill," Tony called back. "Your guardians settling in?"

"A little more posh than what we're accustomed to, but I think that's a sacrifice we're willing to make." He makes his way over to the both of them. He set a hand down on Peter's head, and tousles his hair like they've been friends for awhile. Peter didn't mind it, though. He just wished that Tony could show him that kind of affection. 

"Where is everybody?" Peter asked.

"Rocket's crawling all over Tony's lab, Groot's playing video games, Nebula's off doing _who-even-knows-what_ and Mantis is trying to teach Drax how to meditate. _Unsuccessfully._ "

Who were Rocket and Groot? And -- 

"Where's Gamora?" Peter blurted out. He didn't even know where the name came from. He just said it without thinking, but he knew he was right. There was someone named Gamora. Someone on Quill's team.

"What?"

"Where's Gamora?" Peter repeated.

" _Ga-who now_?"

The hairs on Peter's arms rise then. Something's wrong, but he doesn't know _what_. "Nevermind," he said quietly.

Quill and Tony exchanged looks. 

"Okay, kid, you've been acting weird, and the way we play it here is two strikes, you're out. You're going to see the doc."

"What?" Peter protested. "I'm fine."

" _Don't argue, Underoos._ "

"I _told_ you that I'm fine. Just --"

"I mean it. Don't. _Argue._ " 

"-- _listen to me!_ "

And then it happened, just like it did, with a sudden flash of orange-red light. The steadiness he achieved in the past ten minutes was gone now. Peter set a hand against Tony's chest. He inhaled, then exhaled, then inhaled again.

"Peter." Tony snapped his fingers, trying to draw his attention. "Look at me."

Peter couldn't.

"Look at me!" Tony barked at him.

Peter finally forced himself to look up. He was suddenly starting to feel the way he did when he was trapped beneath the warehouse rubble all alone. Everything around him seemed suddenly oppressive. He felt pinned down. _Trapped._ And he didn't know or understand why.

"Mr. Stark," he can hear himself saying. "I don't feel so good."

Then there was nothing.

* * *

When Peter finally came to, he was laying in a bed. A familiar voice was singing a song in falsetto. Peter pushed himself upright so that his back was pressed at an angle against the headboard.

The person singing was Quill, draped casually across one of Tony's sleep, modern chairs, idly tapping on an electronic pad with a transparent screen that Peter recognized as StarkTech.

Quill didn't seem to have noticed he was awake. 

"Once I had a love and it was divine," Quill crooned off-key. "Soon found out I was losing my mind. It seemed like the real thing --"

Peter smiled as he pushed himself upright in the bed. "Your singing's terrible."

Quill abruptly sat up and immediately tapped something on the screen. The music stopped.

"You're awake."

"Yeah."

Quill immediately rose to his feet, set the screen down on the chair, then looked uncertainly at Peter.

"Stark's going to kill me if I don't go wake him up now."

"Can I talk with you for five minutes?" 

Quill looks from Peter back to the door then back to Peter again.

" _Please_?"

Quill continued standing, then leans forward. "All right," he concedes, in a frantic, low-speaking tone that is a few steps above a whisper. "But your mentor's an asshole and I'm not going to risk pissing him off while I'm crashing at his place, so let's move quick."

"Avengers Tower isn't his place."

"Well, it's not my place, either, so I'm not going to risk him throwing us on the streets while the ship's being repaired. Nebula, Rocket, Groot, Drax, Mantis? Those guys don't blend into a crowd the way that I do."

"Your song was nice," Peter said.

"Blondie. Heart of Glass. Didn't we just talk about keeping it brief?"

"Oh," Peter said, as if suddenly remembering this. "Yeah, about Gamora--"

Quill nodded a head at Peter. "You keep saying that name. Who's Gamora?"

Peter's brow furrowed as he remembered the scene. "I'll do you one better," he repeated slowly, as if reading lines from a script. " _Why_ is Gamora?"

Quill gave him a look that wasn't quite unlike the one he gave him on Titan when he told him that Footloose never _was_ the greatest movie in history.

"Okay, you're officially weirding me out now."

"Gamora was your girlfriend, I think," Peter said. "I was never really clear on that."

Silence filled the space between them for a moment. Peter finally managed to look up at Quill. All of this sounded crazy and he knew it, but he also knew it was true. Even if no one remembered. "You really don't remember?"

"No," Quill said. "I think I'd remember if I had a girlfriend."

"Because you've never had one?"

"I'm getting Tony."

Quill began to head for the door, but stopped halfway and turned to face him.

"You sure you're okay?"

"No," he said honestly. "But I'm sure I will be."

That seemed to satisfy Quill. The door opened with an electronic whir and he slipped through with one final glance over his shoulder. The door closed behind him.

Peter laid down and looked at the unfamiliar ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I try and keep my notes brief on this fic because I know if I start talking about Tony and Peter and how much I love Peter Parker and have ever since I was a kid, I'll start talking and I won't stop. But since I need to get it out of me:
> 
> I love Peter Parker.
> 
> Things are getting weird and I've left a few hints as to what's going on in this chapter and in a previous one. 10 points to anyone who manages to figure it out.
> 
> We're back to Tony next chapter.


	5. Proud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony pays a visit to Dr. Strange.  
> Then tries (unsuccessfully) to get a handle on his trauma.

Tony was just about to knock on the door when it suddenly opened. It was Strange's cloak that greeted him and not Strange himself. 

"Did you foresee my visit?" Tony called out as he stepped inside. "Great use of the Time Stone, by the way. Glad you're getting some use out of it." 

Strange was pacing through the same foyer where they first met, holding a veritable tome in hands. The hole where Hulk slammed through the building, then the stairs, all the way to the basement was still uncovered, and Tony briefly wondered if Strange and Wong just jumped over it every time they needed to get to the second floor.

"No," Strange said simply. He looked up at Tony for the briefest of moments then turned his attention back to the book. The Time Wizard was ignoring him. This annoyed Tony.

"So you don't know why I'm here, but you _do_ know that the whole thing with Peter was the only solution to our problems. The whole 1 in 14 million thing." 

"14,000,605," Strange supplied, turning another page.

"Thanks, Count von Count, I'll let you know the next time I need a human calculator."

Strange didn't even look up from his book. "I look forward to the experience, then." 

"Peter Parker just talked to me. Two hours ago. Through my phone. Calling from an _unknown number_."

Strange immediately shut the book and looked over at Tony. " _What?_ "

" _Through my cell phone_. Like a normal call. Like he just picked up a phone and dialed me from _wherever-he-is_. From whatever reality _you_ chose to stick him in."

"I suggest that you manage your anger, Stark," Strange said, his voice steady.

" _Manage my anger_? You _chose that reality_ \-- you _said_ that it was the one way -- _the one way_ we were going to win. And you haven't even so much as told me or anyone else everything that led up to that particular revelation. You just expect us to _follow blindly_ \--to just follow whatever you say, even if it doesn't make sense to any of us."

Strange set the book down on the square-shaped platform at the bottom of the stair handrail, then approached with a swift, steady gait. He doesn't stop until he's within arm's reach of Tony.

"You have no understanding of how the Time Stone works so don't act like you do." His voice was low with a hint of menace.

"Tell me how it works, then! Because back then--" Tony said pointing in the general direction of where the fight began. "--before Grimace's pale-faced goons showed up, you gave me the abbreviated version. Now I need the unabridged."

Strange looked at him, nonplussed, and after a brief silence, opened his mouth to speak.

"This is the Eye of Agamotto," Strange said. "It, like the gauntlet, allows a person to safely wield an Infinity Stone without suffering the adverse effects."

Tony doesn't say anything.

Strange crossed his arms in front of him like he did when he first showed Tony and Bruce the stone. When he uncrossed his arms, something in the eye-shape necklace shifted, revealing the glowing green stone.

"The stone," he continued, "Allows me to move things forward or move things back in time.. This gives me some degree of clairvoyance, like it did back on Titan. If I focus on one single act -- like Thanos' death, it can show me that moment, and the one act that put that act into motion, and nothing else." 

"So you knew Peter was going to do that." Tony nearly clipped off the end of Strange's sentence.

"I knew what he'd do. I knew that Thanos would be defeated. I did not know what would happen afterward, and I still don't know."

Tony took a breath, then opened his mouth. He wanted to say something, but he didn't because he didn't know what to say to that and he was tired of being angry anyway. Strange moved his arms just as he did before and the eye on his necklace closed. 

"You said earlier," Strange said as he walked back towards the handrail where his book still lay. "That he called you."

"I don't know if he could hear me." There's something sad, defeated in Tony's voice. "He just kept _saying things_ , and then the phone just melted through my fingers."

Strange took the book back into hand, and gave Tony a perplexed but curious look.

"I picked it up and it just reformed in my hand."

Strange made a little noise at that. "Are you sure?"

Tony swallowed back his anger at being questioned. "I am."

"I believe you."

Strange held the book to his chest and abruptly turned on heel and climbed the stairs to the second floor. As he jumped over the Hulk-sized hole in the staircase, his cloak suddenly raced towards him before attaching itself to his shoulders.

"What, _am I supposed to follow you?_ " Tony called out. Strange didn't answer; he just continued walking up the stairs without the slightest bit of concern.

Tony frowned and then followed after him.

* * *

_Peter, I'm proud of you._

They are the five words he needed to say right now. _Five_. This should have been less difficult than the conversation with his mom and his dad, but for reasons Tony couldn't comprehend, the words couldn't leave his mouth.

Peter was sitting by himself, back to the wall, looking at his hands. He had just declared himself backup and had just been knighted by Tony. The confidence and the pride had evaporated in the hour he and Strange spent discussing Thanos en route to Titan.

Peter had jumped into the conversation a few times with an idea or a question, and he had been so annoyed that he told him he was sending him to time out, which was nearly halfway across the ship.

It was a shitty thing to do. He hadn't realized it then, but he did realize it now. 

Tony heard the footsteps approaching; he turned, and there was Strange who looked at him with an impassive, neutral expression. 

"Stark, if you don't say it now, you're not going to have another chance." Strange put a hand on his shoulder and he felt so solid that this -- all of it -- felt real. 

Everything Strange said, he knew it was true. They would be piloting the ship together soon and after that they didn't have a single free moment alone on Titan for him to say it. He and Strange and Quill argued over the plan for probably three hours while Peter excitedly asked about the Dance-Off and Drax made a poor attempt to tell the tale to Peter, with Mantis chiming in with occasional commentary.

Strange was right. There was no other time. He had to do it now.

Strange gave Tony a knowing look, then turned around and headed back to the front of the ship. Tony attempted it again.

"Peter."

Peter looked up at him, wide-eyed. "Mr. Stark?"

Tony opened his mouth, but nothing else came out.

"Mr. Stark, are you okay?" Peter suddenly stood, and stepped toward him.

Tony took a step back.

Peter took another step forward.

And Tony took another step back.

" _Mr. Stark?_ "

Tony ripped the glasses off his face and had to resist the urge to throw them across the room. Instead, he tossed them on the bed. He pressed a hand to his forehead. His skin was slick with sweat.

Why did he think this was going to help? Yeah, maybe the BARF tech had helped with his parents. But right now, it wasn't doing anything. He thought this might actually be making him worse.

_Why was he such an asshole?_

Tony picked up his phone from the nightstand next to his bed and looked down at the screen. No missed calls, no missed texts, no UNKNOWN numbers dialing him from who-knows-where. The only thing he had now was a bunch of Infinity Stone knowledge Strange hadn't dumped on him before, a couple of theories the two of them had talked, and nothing he could do about any of it until he figured it out.

He set the phone back on the nightstand, stood up, and headed to his lab. If he couldn't figure this out, he might as well work on something he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The most fun part of writing this chapter was hands-down the BARF scene, which I wholy credit **[ididntsignupforthis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ididntsignupforthis/pseuds/ididntsignupforthis)** for inspiring. Let's be real, I just enjoy making Tony suffer.
> 
> While we're on the topic of inspiration, now seems like a great time as any to discuss what inspired this fic to begin with.
> 
> After our second time viewing the film, my partner and I were discussing the gauntlet and Peter Parker and how Peter is basically a conglomeration of traits from both Steve and Tony. This inevitably led to her confessing that she believes that Peter is the one person she'd trust not to be corrupted by the gauntlet.
> 
> Boom. I spent four days thinking about it, and so this fic was given life.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Peter's dialogue at the end of chapter three is the same dialogue as the beginning of chapter four. It's absolutely related, and if anyone caught it before now -- kudos to you! I wrote the beginning of Chapter Four at the same time I was writing the end of Chapter Three, which is a rarity for me, but I think it worked out.
> 
> * * *
> 
> I'm less confident in my Strange than I am some of the other MCU characters and the lovely **  
> [Execution_Empress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/execution_empress)  
> ** offered to beta for me. If you haven't checked out her fics, check her out!
> 
> Thanks again for the comments and kudos and everything. Sometimes I'm in the middle of writing and I'm absolutely stuck and one nice comment pulls me through to the finish line.


	6. Kobayashi Maru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is a Trekkie.  
> Tony talks feelings.  
> The Peters argue.  
> Peter starts to figure out what's going on.  
> But doesn't quite get there yet.

"Okay, Parker. Spill it."

Peter looked up.

Tony was standing three feet away from where Peter sat on the edge of the bed. Quill stood behind him and off to the side. Tony, predictably, was looking down at him with an expression that clearly broached no argument. Quill, on the other hand was looking anywhere but at him, as if he wasn't entirely sure he should be here, but was here anyway because he didn't know what else he should be doing. 

Peter could empathize. He'd felt that a couple of times lately.

Peter took a breath and tried to refocus his thoughts. He didn't know what was going on himself, so how could he explain anything to anyone like this? And maybe even more importantly, how was he going to explain this without sounding like he was crazy? 

If he told Tony the truth, he'd be benched for sure. There'd be an MRI, a CT Scan, X-Rays -- there's no way that Tony would let him off the hook. 

But if Tony thought he was lying, it'd be almost as bad. He'd still be benched, but maybe he'd be benched until Tony believed he was telling the truth. 

This was a complete Kobayashi Maru situation. There were no wins, just his choice of losses. There was no manipulating the situation the way Kirk did. Not when Tony Stark was supervising the simulation.

"I'm having --" Peter took a breath and looked down at a fixed spot on the floor. "I'm having a hard time remembering everything after Titan." 

The silence was deafening, and when Peter finally forced himself to look up so he'd know whether or not it was it was an angry-reaction, a sad-reaction, or a worried-reaction, he found Tony looking down at him with concern. And not the angry-concern that Peter was used to.

Tony sat down on the side of the bed next to him. "Can I have a second with the kid, Quill?"

"Uh, yeah. I'll be--" Quill looked at the two of them, gestured to the door, then nodded towards it.

Quill looked like he was going to say something else, but quickly navigated to and through the door. Tony and Peter watched as it whirred open as Quill approached and whirred closed as he exited. 

And as soon as it did, Tony's head snapped to look at Peter.

"I realize now that I should have had this talk with you from Day One."

Peter felt his chest constrict tightly. 

"This," Tony continues, holding his arms out. "It's not all it seems to be. The superheroes you grew up watching in cartoons. Before me? Before the Avengers?"

"When I was growing up, there weren't really any cartoons about superheroes who _weren't_ you or the Avengers."

Tony let out a sigh. "I forget, that's before your time. Just, kid --"

Tony took a breath.

"-- the superhero thing? It's hard and it's a lot harder than anyone knows. People like to romanticize it -- all of it. The struggle, the fighting, the _almost losing your life multiple times for the good of the universe_ \--"

And for the first time Peter finally saw in Tony's expression something that he hadn't seen before:

Anguish.

"-- and it's not easy. It's never going to be. No matter how easy anyone makes it look, it's never easy. Not for them. Not for me. Not for _you_."

Peter swallowed. He felt like he should say something, but he suddenly felt guilty.

"I'm sorry," Peter finally managed.

Tony's brows furrowed. "For what?"

"Growing up, I always thought --" Peter looked down at his hands instead of the floor. "-- all of you guys had everything together, that all the choices you made came easy to you and I --"

It felt like Tony was looking at him harder than he was before.

"-- _didn't_ ," Peter finished lamely.

"I know."

Peter looked over at Tony, wide-eyed. Tony didn't say anything for awhile, then he visibly straightened where he stat.

"That wasn't where I was even going," he said, his normal tone of voice suddenly back intact, "We went a little off-track there for a second. Let's move _out_ of the pit stop and back _onto_ the speedway."

"I'm sorry."

" _Quit apologizing_ ," Tony said. "Lesson two there."

"What was number one?"

Tony sighed and gave Peter a look that looked very much like the ones his teachers gave him when they thought he wasn't paying attention in class.

"Things are hard," Peter quickly supplied.

"Things are hard _and_ \--" Tony stopped there, either for emphasis or dramatic effect, and Peter was not sure which it is. He realized only after a few seconds had passed that Tony expected him to finish the sentence.

"Not just for me."

"Lesson Three --"

"What about Lesson Two? Aren't you going to explain that?"

"I thought it was self-explanatory."

"Yeah, but... it feels like there's _more_ to that."

Tony leaned over and rested his forearms on his thighs. "You don't apologize for the things you do," he said. "You take responsibility for them."

Peter dampened his lips and for a second was on the verge of opening his mouth when Tony interrupted him.

"Enough lessons for now," he said. "Let's make a U-Turn and return to the place that brought us here to begin with."

Peter wondered what the drive analogies were about today. 

Tony took a breath, as if this were taking him considerable effort, then turned and looked at Peter.

"Peter." Tony's voice was serious and Peter knew this was serious because Tony said his name instead of "kid" or "underoos" or "Parker". Peter turned and made eye contact and when he did, Tony felt more intense than he ever had until now.

"You are going through a lot. A lot more than I did at your age, and that's with the whole--" Tony waved an arm. "-- _rich father, teen genius thing_. You lost your parents before I did and then you lost your _uncle_. Right now, you're doing something that I didn't do until I was in my _30s_."

Peter didn't say anything.

"When we fought Thanos, you moved from the kiddie pool straight to high diving in the deep end, and there's just going to be more challenges from here." 

Tony rubbed the side of his nose, then continued. "If you're going to continue to do the things you want to do, you're going to have to take care of yourself in order to do them."

"Wha--" But before he could say anything more, Tony interrupted him.

"I'll let you get your words out once I'm done getting out mine. Your memory loss? That's _trauma_. And I should have expected this happening after everything we just went through, but I didn't. I can't force you to talk to anyone and I can't force you to do anything that you don't want to do, but I can tell you right now from my experience, that the worst thing you can do right now is bottle it up and not deal with it. Because it will find ways of manifesting and it will hurt the people around you and _it will hurt you_."

Peter gaped, and once he realized he was, he shut his mouth.

Tony looked away. "Say your piece, kid." He gave Peter a pat on the back as he stood, his back to his protege. 

Peter wasn't sure what to say now. "I already talk to Ned and May," he volunteered, but before he say anything more Tony interrupted him. 

"You tell them everything?"

"No, but--"

"Then it's not the same. There's always going to be people you can't talk to because they're not in the game. People you don't want to hurt."

Peter wondered if Tony was thinking of Pepper when he said that.

"I see someone," Tony said, finally. "You should see someone too."

For not the first time in this conversation, Peter was at a loss for words. 

"Think about it," Tony said, making his way to the door. "Get some rest. I'm going to have my doctor here first thing in the morning to double-check there's nothing wrong physically."

The door whirred open as Tony made his way towards it.

"Mr. Stark?"

Tony turned.

"Can I talk to Mr. Quill again?" Peter quickly rushed in to clarify: "It's nothing about this, he was just listening to music when I woke up and I just wanted to ask him about it."

Tony didn't look convinced.

" _Blondie_ ," Peter supplied, as if this might convince him. " _Heart of Glass?_ "

Tony still looked unconvinced, but he also looked tired. And resigned, like he didn't have the energy to argue anymore.

"I'll send him in," he said, finally. He directed a finger at Peter. "But only if he wants to. If he doesn't, it's bedtime. Capiche?"

"Capiche."

Tony gave Peter a weary smile. "See you tomorrow."

"See you."

The doors whirred shut behind Tony, and Peter realized this conversation didn't end up being the Kobayashi Maru scenario he thought it'd be.

* * *

"You're not going to keep talking to me about this _Gamora_ chick, are you?"

"Gamora's not a chick, she's your _girlfriend_!"

"That makes her a chick, so _why are we arguing_?"

Both Peters huffed in unison. Peter Parker started to open his mouth. Peter Quill interrupted him.

"What makes you convinced that this _Gamora_ actually exists? I watched him order some people to give you a _brain scan_ earlier today. _Your stepfather_ \--"

"-- he's not my stepfather."

"-- that's not the point. The point is nothing was wrong, ergo, _you're bonkers_."

Peter really was starting to feel like he was losing it. Maybe Quill was right. And Tony. Maybe after everything that happened on Titan, his mind just couldn't handle it. He didn't even know anything about Gamora except that that Quill loved her enough to yell in Thanos' face and then punch him over and over and over again even though he knew it would ruin his own plan.

Quill started to look guilty.

"Don't look sad, Spiderling. That doesn't mean you can't still be a superhero. Or a _supervillain_ , but you don't strike me as the supervillain type."

Quill's voice sounded faint now, like it was coming from somewhere far away. "I'm not."

Peter returned back to his thoughts, and as he did, everything in the room felt like it was changing. Everything that was big was small and everything that was small was big and every sound that was quiet was now very loud.

Something was missing. There had to be a reason why Gamora was missing. Why she just wasn't here. Why no one but him seemed to remember.

The more he tried to think his way through it, the more fractured his thoughts became. Like everything around him was just a distraction, pulling him away from the thoughts he was trying to put together. Like everything in the world wanted him to focus on them instead of --

"Parker, you okay?"

"Our names are both hyphenated."

" _What_?"

"Star-Lord, Spider-Man, they're both hyphenated, but the articles -- they always get it wrong."

"Parker... I swear to God if you start losing it again, I'm going to bring Stark in here right now."

Peter didn't even know why he said it. It just kind of slipped out. It felt like everything was spilling out of him and if he kept thinking about it, everything about him would just disappear.

Peter stopped.

"How many Infinity Stones did Thanos have when we defeated him?"

"Three. Parker. _What's going on?_ "

And Peter had his answer.

"Thanos doesn't have the Soul Stone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took longer than I thought it would, but I think a lot of it was canon reviewing. I actually wrote a bunch of meta a few days ago about Tony's relationship with Peter and inevitably, some of it manifested in their conversation in this chapter.
> 
> I'd like for something like this to happen in canon (except better, because I'm sure the Marvel writers could blow me away), especially given that so much of Tony's story in the Iron Man movies revolves around him dealing with trauma. I'm not sure if it'll actually happen, but a woman can dream.
> 
> The more I write Peter and Quill (something I never thought I'd write, really), the more I feel like in canon they'd have a little brother/big brother relationship. Pls become canon. _Pls_.
> 
> Once again, thanks for the comments and kudos and sorry for all the inevitable sperging/fangirling there. Hope to have the next chapter ready soon!


	7. Too Many Steves

Tony Stark was weighing his options: 

Call Steve, or not call Steve.

Tony sat at his lab table, trying to focus on soldering new joints onto the armored hands of the last suit he built before he completed his latest upgrade. There was nothing wrong with the old ones. He doubted they would have any real positive effect -- not that he could imagine using the outdated model again in the future, either. But upgrading old suits with new parts was mindless and easy and talking to Steve _wouldn’t_ be.

Calling Steve meant he’d probably have to apologize. He’d have to acknowledge he made a mistake. That alone was difficult enough for Tony Stark. 

But then they’d probably have to talk in order to smooth things over. And once that happened, they’d have to catch up, as if Thanos and his forces hadn’t just obliterated a good chunk of New York and a substantial part of Wakanda. 

And then Steve would ask him what happened on Titan and if everything he said in the press conference was true and Tony would have to tell him they managed to botch the plan up and Peter had disappeared with Thanos and the gauntlet.

Talking with Steve meant going over several years of failures that Tony would rather ignore than ever acknowledge. Nothing about calling Steve seemed appealing. But the more Tony thought about it, the more it felt like an inevitability. He’d have to call. If not today, then sometime tomorrow.

And if not tomorrow, maybe the day after that.

Before he could dwell on it any longer, Friday interrupted his thoughts.

“Anomaly detected, Boss.”

Tony tensed as his hand shot up to his suit. His fingers hovered a half-inch above the arc reactor implanted in his chest; they were ready to double-tap the reactor the second a threat entered the room. 

A portal began to open in the middle of his lab and Tony’s fingers edged even closer. It was on when Strange’s trademark orange-red sparks began to spin around the swiftly-opening portal did Tony actually relax and pull his hand away from his chest.

Once that moment of relief subsided, though, Tony felt a prickle of irritation at the sudden, unannounced intrusion. 

"Can you not _do_ that?"

"Do what?" 

Tony pressed his lips together thinly. 

"Showing up here unannounced. And your little fireworks display." Tony twirled a finger at it. "It's distracting." 

Various parts and pieces intended for older versions of his suits were scattered across the table haphazardly. Two monitors set off to one side displayed complicated math Tony hadn't yet pushed over onto the semi-transparent holographs that hovered in the air next to them. They displayed a few modified schematics of Tony's latest suit; one of them spun around slowly on-screen, giving Tony and now Strange both a full 3D view of his latest work. 

Tony pushed up his protective eyegear, tapped the soldering iron twice against a sponge, then set it back into its stand. He looked over at Strange just in time to watch the portal close behind him. 

Strange took a few steps forward, another massive book -- different from the one he was pacing around with earlier today -- in his hands. 

"Close." Tony reached out with a single arm and closed his hand into a fist. All the holographic screens blipped off in unison. "Your little study session wield anything useful?"

Strange dropped the book on Tony's lab table, the tome massive enough to shake the tools and parts that were still scattered around. Tabs marked the book, which looked older than Tony. "You read that _today_?" Tony asked.

"Yes, after you left."

Tony looked at the book and then looked up at Strange. "Who gets through _that thing_ in four hours?"

"Some of us are faster readers than others."

"Ha," Tony scoffed with a scowl. "I asked for the unabridged explanation earlier, but I'm going to need the abridged version if I'm going to make it through the rest of the day intact."

Strange laid a hand on the cover of the book. "The gauntlet has four stones in it right now: Power, Space, Reality, and Soul. The only one we don't truly understand is the Soul Stone."

Tony frowned. 

"It is safe to assume that when Peter wielded the gauntlet, he did something to neutralize Thanos. Any stone or any combination of the stones he had could do it. Properly wielded, the Power Stone could kill Thanos outright."

"Not Parker's style," Tony interjected. "Look, we're rehashing old information here. _Properly-wielded_. What does that mean? What determines whether or not any of these stones is _properly-wielded_?"

"Using the Time Stone properly takes incredible skill. If I misuse the stone, I risk creating spatial parodoxes, time loops, or unstable dimensions in time. We know what the stones can do when wielded properly. We don't know what they can do when they aren't. It takes tremendous focus and control to use the Time Stone properly. I have no doubt in my mind that it's the same for the others." Strange steadied his gaze on Tony. "How capable do you think your ward is, Stark?"

Tony let out a sigh. This wasn't a question he wanted to answer. "He's not my ward," he said instead.

"Your ward, your protege. The name doesn't matter. Do you _think_ he can use even one of the stones properly?"

It takes a moment for Tony to get the word out. "No."

"That makes things complicated." 

"I have serious doubts that things can be more complicated than they are already."

Strange opened the book and paged to one of his bookmarks. "They're made complicated by the fact that we only know how most of the stones work when they're _used properly_. We don't know how they work when they're _not_. Your _protege_ didn't have to work for the stones. He didn't earn the right to wield their power. Whatever he did to neutralize Thanos -- it's not likely to last for long. All he has done is bought us more time."

"The Soul Stone --" Tony began, but before he could, things began to change. 

“Barometric pressure rising,” Friday announced pleasantly. 

“ _What_? Friday, _what’s going on_?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know. There is no source to speak of.”

Shortly after Friday made the announcement, Tony was actually able to feel it; pressure was building up in his ears. He and Strange exchanged glances at just as the ground began to shake. 

“Friday? I need a little more info here. Run some scans.”

“No source found.”

“Friday, are you doing okay? Because things are definitely weird."

Tony leveled himself against the lab table, the tools and parts and monitors shaking noisily; one monitor fell to the ground and shattered. 

Strange picked up the book, then smoothly rose up into the air. All six sides of the room began to stretch out in a polynomial curve towards a fixed point in the center of the room. They grew higher and thinner as they stretched out. 

Everything was starting to fall and slide and Tony narrowly managed to dodge out of the way of the metal arm of his Iron Man suit and the monitor that by some miracle hadn't cracked.

It cracked as soon as it hit the wall. 

Tony double-tapped his Arc Reactor, the suit drawing itself across his body.

“ _Strange_ , what is going on here?”

"It's exactly like Kaecilius in the Mirror Dimension."

Strange sounded so calm and impressed that Tony almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. " _What_?" He had no idea what he was talking about.

"Space manipulation. It allowed him to warp and distort the landscape. This, though. This is on a much smaller scale."

Then, from the center of the room comes a the disembodied voice of Peter Parker:

"Our names are both hyphenated."

"Is this what happened before?" Strange asked, gesturing to the center of the room.

"Yeah, but _different_. Last time this happened, it was on my cell phone. It was the only thing that was --" Tony can't manage to get the last few words out; his lab table, which had been secured to the floor had bent and cracked as the rising hill of the wall plowed through it. The metal panels went flying, and Tony knocked it away with an armored arm just as his helmet was assaulted by a long metal lamp.

Tony let out a swear. 

"Star-Lord, Spider-Man, they're both hyphenated, but the articles -- they always get it wrong." Peter's voice is warping, growing louder.

"Was there anything else that happened? Any other changes?" Strange asked, too calmly for the physics-defying display around him.

"How many Infinity Stones did Thanos have when we defeated him?"

Tony slid back as the arc in the floor rose even higher. He could no longer see Strange, and the space he was trapped in was quickly growing smaller and smaller.

"Not a good time, Strange!"

The lamp cracked in half under the pressure of the floor and wall that were quickly compressing around him. Even with the full force of the suit pressing against them, the floor and the wall were completely unmalleable. 

"Thanos doesn't have the Soul Stone."

The six sides of the room slide back into place so quickly that Tony lost his footing and crashed to the floor with a metal clank. All the items that had fallen and scattered across the room suddenly snapped back to their proper place and restored to their original condition as if they had never moved at all.

Strange landed neatly on the floor as Tony peeled himself off the ground. He and Strange exchanged wordless looks.

Tony took a breath, brushed the sweat off his forehead, and then finally spoke:

“Okay,” he began, tapping the arc reactor to deactivate the suit. “I think you’re right about the whole _lack-of-control_ thing.”

“What was your first clue?”

Tony hadn’t been a fan of this guy from their first argument on the donut ship, but now he was really starting to disike him. He didn’t really have much other choice than to work with him. Bringing Peter back and defeating Thanos were more important than their little clashes. 

Even though he still couldn’t believe that this man had let a 16-year old boy take a gauntlet with four Infinity Stones to _who-knows-where_ because he seemed to genuinely believe it was the only way to defeat an alien who was just as equally convinced that genocide on a mass scale was the only way to save the universe.

“So what’s the plan? ‘Cause it doesn’t seem we’re going to be able to rely on your personal library for this one.”

“My suggestion to you would be to get a better idea of what the only other stone we have can do if used incorrectly.”

“Are you talking about the Mind Stone? Because _we_ don’t have it. Vision _does_.”

“Then I suggest you speak to Vision because the only way we’re going to have any idea what might be happening right now is to gather as much information as we can about what the stones we do have might do if used improperly.”

“I guess you’re not coming with me.” Tony shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“I’m not leaving the Time Stone alone, and I’m certainly not taking it any closer to the Mind Stone than it is already.”

Strange had a point. 

“So we’ve got a three-part plan here. One,” he said, counting out his index finger. “We figure out what Parker’s done and figure out some way to reverse it. Some way that _doesn’t result going back in time because apparently that’s not the way it’s supposed to be._ ”

Judging from the furrow of Strange’s brow and the growing frown, Tony must have hit a nerve. Tony wasn’t terribly worried about it, given how many times in this conversation alone Strange has managed to do the reverse.

“Second,” he said, counting out another finger. “Come up with some sort of hypothesis as to what exactly might be happening with the other stone and/or stones, provided that Parker isn’t using it properly as we suspect.”

Tony counted out one final finger. “Third, prepare for when Thanos returns, because he will.”

Tony took a breath.

“Guess we’ll get started.”

* * *

Pepper was still dressed in her work clothes when the door to Tony’s lab opened. Tony turned at the sound of the familiar whir, flashed her a weary smile, then went back to typing out an email to Bruce on his hologram keyboard.

He kept on tapping away even as Pepper made her approach.

“Was that Dr. Strange I saw earlier?”

“Yeah, it was. I made him leave the normal way.”

“Tony, I don’t think he has a car. He just ended up creating a portal right outside the front door.”

“As long as it’s not in my lab. The whole place smells like sulfur now.”

"Tony," Pepper pleaded. "Come to bed."

"Give me a half hour."

" _Tony._ "

"Fifteen minutes. Shouldn’t you be asleep by now?”

“I’m not in bed because you’re not in bed.” It was exactly the answer Tony expected.

“Fifteen,” he repeated. “I’m writing an email to Bruce. It’s important.”

Pepper’s face softened at Tony’s explanation, but her resolve didn’t. "I expect you in our bedroom in ten.”

Pepper leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room, the click-clack of her heels fading down the hall. Tony stared out at the screen, bleary-eyed, and completely cleared the screen. Everything he wrote sounded awful. This was the sixth time he’d written something and deleted it. Tony wasn’t even sure if Bruce had access to his email considering he hadn’t even been on the planet for awhile since his abrupt entrance a few weeks ago. An improbable email to Bruce was still a far easier pill to swallow than a call to Steve. 

It was also going to be the last for the night. He was starting to feel like he typed the same thing six times all just worded a little differently.

Tony rubbed his eyes wearily, tapped the panel at the bottom of the monitor to turn it off, and pushed himself out of his chair.

As loathe as he was to admit it, Pepper was right. He needed sleep. 

But just as Tony stood up, he looked down at his phone. UNKNOWN NUMBER lit up the screen. Tony took a breath. His finger hovered over the ACCEPT CALL button. He wasn’t sure if he had the emotional stamina to make it through another one-way call with Peter Parker. Every time he heard the kid’s voice, all he could think about was how he was too busy dealing with the manchild that he neglected the actual one.

He insisted they follow the plan, but in the end, he failed to execute just as Quill had.

Tony inhaled, then exhaled. Then finally he pressed down on the screen.

"Hello?" He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Peter never seemed to hear him.

"Tony? It's Steve."

Tony sat back down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for your patience getting this chapter out! A lot of talking (and some weirdness) happens, and I wanted to make sure that everything in my head spilled onto the page with some degree of clarity.
> 
> Thankfully, I had the help of a wonderful beta/editor **[theclockstruckone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theclockstruckone)** , who basically saved my life this chapter.
> 
> I think this is the longest chapter we've had so far, which is kind of amazing considering the rough draft of this chapter only had about ~1250 words. If the word counter is right, it's about twice that length now.
> 
> Once again, thanks for all the comments and kudos! I always love reading the theories, questions, critiques, and thoughts you put in the comments. It really gets the cogs in my brain moving.


	8. The Adventures of Pete and Pete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quill and Peter make a plan.  
> Quill and Peter talk with Nebula.  
> Peter learns the hard way that Quill can't drive.

"Well, _no shit he didn't have the Soul Stone!_ "

Quill was yelling, but there was a definite edge of concern in his voice that mirrored the expression on his face. And in that moment, the sound of Quill’s voice suddenly didn’t sound as distant as it had before. Everything that appeared to be warping around him just a minute ago was returning back to its proper size. 

Reality _felt like reality again_.

Peter pressed his palms down against the mattress, testing the weight of it against his hands. It felt firm, he thought. It felt _real_.

This knowledge was of little comfort to Peter. He looked up at Quill uneasily. "He did," Peter said. " _He took Gamora to Vormir_ and then he came back with the Soul Stone."

" _Vormir_?"

"Nebula knows about it. _Knew about it._ I don't know if she does now." There was already so much that people didn’t seem to remember. Peter couldn’t count on them remembering all the facts they knew from _wherever-he-had-come-from_. The more he thought about it, the crazier it seemed that he was so convinced that Gamora existed and that Thanos had the Soul Stone. Who was more likely to be right? Him, or _literally everyone else?_

Quill clicked his tongue. He was looking at the ceiling.

"Okay," Quill said. "Hypothetically speaking, let's say I'm willing to believe you."

Peter leaned forward.

"And Gamora, this missing person was critical to Thanos getting the Soul Stone."

Peter pressed his lips together and nodded.

"Then how does she just poof out of existence? And how are _you_ the only person who remembers her?"

Peter took a breath.

"I don't know," Peter admitted, shoulders falling. 

Quill sat down on the bed next to him. "Look, Little Dude."

"Little Dude?"

"Yeah, _Little Dude_. You're little and you're a dude."

"I'm not _little_."

"Okay, whatever. What I'm getting at is that _this isn't making any sense_ , and because of it, it's going to make it hard for people to believe you. We need to _zip it_ until we figure this shit out."

 _We._ Peter felt a sudden jolt of hope. "So you believe me?"

"No, I don't." Peter's hope was quickly extinguished. "But I might -- if we can find some real, tangible evidence here."

Peter’s hope was restored, but it didn’t burn quite as brightly as it had before. Quill must have noticed because he reached out to tousle Peter’s hair. With a shout of protest, Peter attempted to dodge it with only middling success. Only once he had submitted to the tousle did Quill give Peter a little shove sidewards. When he did, Peter couldn’t help but wonder if this was what it’d be like if he actually had an older brother. 

If it was, he thought he’d like it.

"You said Nebula knew about Vormir?" Quill asked.

"Yeah,” Peter said, running a hand through his hair to restore it back to its natural state.

"Then we should probably start by talking to Nebula."

Peter started to stand up and Quill pulled him down by the back of his collar.

"Whoooa, hold your horses. We go out there and Stark's gonna bust us in a hot minute. Bedtime _now_ , _Clue_ -style investigation time _later_." He looked at Peter. "Okay?"

“This isn’t a murder mystery.”

“Neither is Scooby Doo, but I still made a reference to that and you voiced no objection,” Quill countered.

“I like _Clue_ better than _Scooby Doo_.”

“Okay, test time: what’s your favorite ending?”

“Miss Scarlet,” Peter said. “‘Cause of the flames scene.”

“Flames,” Quill began, with all the theaterics of the original scene. He lifted his hands. “On the side of my face, breathing-- breath-- heaving breaths. Heaving breaths...”

Peter had a hard time not laughing at that. “You know, she improvised that entire scene.”

“ _Are you serious_? That’s my favorite part of the movie!”

“Mine too.”

Realization suddenly dawned on Quill’s face and he directed an accusing finger at Peter. “Your attempt at a distraction will not work on me any longer,” he declared. 

"Okay," Peter said. “It wasn’t a distraction, though. Not intentionally, anyway.”

“A distraction is a distraction whether or not you intend to distract.” 

“ _Flashdance_ was never a good movie,” Peter said.

Quill took a breath. “I won’t. Be. Baited,” he said slowly. He gave Peter a brief pat on the back as he rose to his feet. “Sleep, then we reconvene at high noon, _assuming_ I’m awake by then."

Peter watched as Quill headed for the door. The door whirred open and Quill turned to give him a little salute before he made his exit.

Peter was pretty sure he liked Quill before now. But now he was sure of it.

* * *

The door wasn’t even completely open before Quill started yelling out a greeting.

"Hey, Nebula! We have a couple of questions for you."

Peter Parker had never had a full tour of the compound (as far as he remembered), so almost everything was new to him, including this room.

Two plush leather couches formed an L-shape in front of a large, impossibly thin TV screen that was hanging on the wall. A coffee table divided the TV from the couches.

The TV wasn’t the only thing hanging on the wall. Cubist art, likely curated by Pepper, decorated the walls. He recognized one piece as one by Juan Gris and another by Georges Braq. Hanging over the couch set to a wall was a piece by Pablo Picasso ( _Jacqueline, maybe?_ he wondered, trying to dredge up the title from his memories of 9th grade Art History class). A long-necked, blue-haired woman sat in profile, staring out at a fixed point with an air of disaffection.

When his eyes trailed down to the couch below it, his eyes widened at the sight of another blue-haired woman. For a second, he thought his brain just wasn’t processing things correctly, but when Quill sat down on the other couch and grinned at her, he knew that it was her. 

Peter hadn’t gotten a great look at Nebula the first time they met. She had shown up in the middle of combat against Thanos. Only her most primary features had registered in his memory: metal headplates, bald head, blue skin. 

Now, she looked like a completely different person.

The cybernetic parts of her were gone, replaced with real flesh and bone. Her once-bald head was covered with thick navy hair that was pulled sharply back in a tight ponytail.

Hair the color of Picasso’s _Jacqueline_.

Peter tried not to gape and instead clenched his jaw because it was about the only thing he could force his face to do. He was sure his surprise registered on his face -- he was never good at hiding his emotions -- but if Nebula noticed or cared, she didn’t acknowledge it. 

What had happened? Why had Nebula's appearance changed so radically? All of this was becoming increasingly more unnerving by the second. Everything around him felt utterly alien, as if someone had hurriedly taken apart the life he knew up until now and hastily threw it all back together. None of the pieces seemed to fit quite right, even if when they were laid out together, they still formed a somewhat coherent picture.

Peter was starting to feel like something might really be wrong with him. Logically, he knew he should have felt it before now, but there was nothing physical -- nothing tangible -- to point out and declare "This is wrong!" until now. All that existed were memories that didn't match up with reality, a woman who no one seemed to remember, and a subtle sense of wrongness, as if the Peter-shaped place he fit in the world had suddenly been stretched and twisted so he no longer fit.

Everyone could see Nebula. Quill could see Nebula. And for Quill, the Nebula standing before him with the blue ponytail was the only one he knew. She was a Nebula that was completely divorced from the one Peter briefly encountered on Titan.

Peter stood awkwardly in the doorway until he forced his feet to move forward and towards Quill. He wanted things to be normal and the only way they would be was if he did what was normal. Normal wasn’t standing awkwardly in a doorway. Normal was walking inside and sitting down and acting like everything was okay, _even if it wasn’t_.

“Quill,” Nebula said in reply. She set the Stark Industry tablet she had been using down on top of the coffee table and regarded Quill with a passive expression. 

“I’ll take that as ‘Yes, I’ll answer your questions’.” Quill crouched forward from his spot on the couch, his hands knitted together. He gave Nebula a hard look.

Peter sat down on the edge of the couch next to Quill and attempted a smile. “He means ‘Please, can we ask you a few questions, ma’am?’” Peter swallowed, trying (and failing) not to stare at Nebula. He made a second attempt to smile. It was probably a better attempt than the first. 

Nebula let out a single soft laugh. “You should take a cue from this boy, Quill.”

“Man, ma’am. I’m a man.”

Nebula looked positively amused. “...from this _man_ ,” she corrected. “If you have questions, ask them.”

Quill shot Peter a dirty _how-could-you-do-this-to-me?_ look before directing his attention back to Nebula.

“You, uh, you ever hear of this place called Vor -- Vir --” Quill looked at Peter for validation. “ _Virmire_?” 

“Vormir,” Peter supplied.

Nebula raised a brow at the name.

“I just heard rumors about a score on this planet, _Vormire_.” 

Peter facepalmed. Quill _still_ couldn’t get the name right. 

“Unfortunately, we don’t even know where the place is, and that’s Step One, so right now, we’re sitting on Step Zero, which involves us sitting around here interrogating anyone who might know the whereabouts of this _mystery planet_. You’re our first _anyone_.” 

Peter was surprised at how easily Quill could lie. 

“And you’re asking _me_?”

“You’ve traversed the galaxy from one end to the other and back again like _five times_ now,” Quill continued. “How would you _not_ know where this planet is?”

“You called it a mystery planet yourself. Why would I know where a mystery planet was located, when its location was unknown to you and to your source?”

Quill opened his mouth. Peter jumped in before Quill could do any more collateral damage.

“We believed that with your extensive planetary knowledge you would have expertise that we and our trusted source lacked.”

A beat.

“Ma’am,” Peter finished.

Quill looked positively betrayed. “ _Dude_ ,” he mouthed silently.

Peter gave him a meaningful look and nodded a head towards Nebula. They both redirected their attention back to her.

“You’re not going to find anything you want on Vormir,” she said. “It is better if you don’t try to go there.”

Quill snapped his fingers, then shot an accusing finger in Nebula’s direction. “So you _do_ know!”

“I did not say that I knew, nor did I say that I didn’t.”

“Your silence implies your guilt.”

“She’s not guilty of anything,” Peter interrupted. “If she doesn’t want to say anything, she doesn’t have to.”

Quill lifted his fingers to his eyes, then directed them back at Nebula. “‘I’ve got my eye on you, Nebs.”

“Don’t call me Nebs.”

Peter took a breath. “If you do know anything -- _and I’m not saying that you do_ \-- but if you do and you decide you feel comfortable sharing it with us later, just let us know.”

Nebula gave him a perplexed look.

“Thank you,” Peter finished. He stood up, grasped Quill’s arm and pulled him out of the room before he could say anything.

“Ow!” Quill protested. “What are you, _the Hulk_?”

“The Hulk is a lot stronger than I am.” Peter couldn’t be positive because they’d never met, but he was pretty sure anyway.

* * *

“You totally _boned_ me in there!”

The accusation came the second they stepped outside and the door whirred shut behind them. Peter wondered if Nebula could hear them through the door, but he was pretty sure Tony had made the rooms soundproof.

“It’s a Good Cop/Bad Cop thing,” Peter insisted. “Like in _Starsky & Hutch_. I’m Hutch, and you’re Starsky.”

“What if _I_ wanted to be Starsky?”

“You wouldn’t make a very good Starsky.”

Quill let out an aggrieved sigh, then paced around in a circle. He was about to open his mouth in protest when Peter felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it up and held up a finger at Quill. 

“It’s my aunt,” he explained. “I’ll need a minute.”

Quill leaned against the wall and leveled his eyes at the ceiling. He was humming that old song again -- the Blondie one he was listening to the other night when Peter woke up.

Peter glanced over at Quill then looked down at his cell phone’s lock screen. He had about a million things he was worried about right now and Aunt May was near the top of the list. He didn’t know what he’d told May after he returned from Titan or how she reacted or why she let him go back to the compound afterward. After everything that had happened, Peter was sure that he would have been placed under house arrest; there was no way May would allow him to fraternize with the Avengers so soon after Thanos had been defeated. He was sure that May felt she had almost lost him.

Peter wanted to see May because he knew that she would level him in a way that no one else could. The gaps in his memories could make seeing her difficult. If she brought up something she knew when he didn’t, he couldn’t lie as easily as Quill could -- and even if he did, May would see right through him. She always did.

Peter swallowed, then opened up his Messaging app and began to read through his messages.

**MAY**  
Peter are you okay?  
Tony called me last night to tell me you weren’t feeling well  
Thought I’d let you sleep in a little before I texted ********

Peter quickly typed back.

 **PETER**  
Yeah I’m fine  
Just exhausted  
Mr. Stark is taking good care of me so don’t worry

May’s response was almost instantaneous. The only time she ever responded to texts quickly was when she was worried. 

**MAY**  
When are you going to be home tonight?  
I was thinking we’d go to Prachya for dinner

Peter turned and looked at Quill. “Do you know how to drive?”

“I can pilot a ship, yeah.”

“A ship isn’t a car.”

“It’s close enough. What’s harder to pilot, a spaceship or a _car_?”

Peter had already failed the driving portion of his driver’s test when he was unable to successfully parallel park. He had also crashed a ship into Titan. Peter couldn’t honestly say which was harder.

Parallel parking was _really_ hard.

Quill took Peter’s silence as validation. He clapped his hands together. “I rest my case.”

“Do you think you can drive me back to Queens? I’m pretty sure she’s worried.”

“What, she know about the whole--” Quill tapped the side of his head. “-- _brain thing_ you’ve got going on?” 

“I think Mr. Stark just told her I wasn’t feeling well.” He knew May would be here already if she thought it were more serious.

“I can do it,” Quill assured him.

* * *

Quill could not do it.

“Pull over,” Peter pleaded as Quill turned onto another road. “ _Please_.”

“I got this.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, _I got this_.”

A car in front of them suddenly stopped. Quill slammed so hard on the brakes that the both of them flew forward, held in place only by their seatbelts.

This was not the first time that this had happened. Or even the second. 

“Come on!” Quill shouted at the car in front of him. He slammed a hand down on the horn for a good ten seconds. Peter sank down in his chair from sheer embarrassment. 

The car in front of them didn’t move. 

Quill leaned on the horn again.

Peter sunk further into the seat. Eventually, Quill fell back into his chair and let out an exaggerated sigh. 

“There might be an accident,” Peter suggested, hoping to placate Quill.

Quill continued to pout.

“Mr. Quill?”

“Yeah?”

“What happened back on Titan? When we were fighting Thanos, I mean.”

Quill looked at Peter sidelong. “How do you remember the whole showdown with Thanos happening, anyway?”

“You came up with a plan,” Peter said.

“Yeah, sounds right so far.”

“Then Mantis got on Thanos’ shoulders and did the thing,” Peter said. He was not entirely clear on what Mantis’ abilities were, but she’d been able to temporarily prevent Thanos from acting. 

Quill nodded. “Yeah, and then you and Stark ended up pulling the gauntlet off and we pile-drived him into the ground.”

Peter somehow doubted that it was that easy, even if they did get the gauntlet off. But Peter’s memories once again contradicted Quill’s.

“It didn’t happen like that,” he said. “After Mantis did her thing, Nebula told you that Gamora had gone with Thanos to Vormir and then he returned with the stone. I think you thought she was -- that she was _dead_ , because you lost it and you kept hitting Thanos and Mr. Stark was trying to talk to you down and then he pulled you off of him and then --”

“Then what?”

“I don’t remember,” Peter admitted.

Quill frowned at that, but didn’t say anything for a long time. A horn honked in the distance and Peter was relieved that for once, the sound wasn’t coming from their vehicle. 

“I must have been crazy about her,” Quill said, finally.

“About Gamora?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t just ruin my own plan unless it was for something big because _how am I going to brag about it later_?” 

Quill had a point. Peter didn’t know Quill very well, but he did seem like the bragging type.

“That does give me an idea though,” Quill said.

“Yeah?”

“Next time we’re at the compound, we should let Mantis do her whole empathy mind-meld thing on you. She might be able to pull something out of you that you can’t.”

Peter considered this, and nodded. “How did you and Nebula meet?”

“We met on Xandar. She ambushed me after I attempted to sell the orb to a spineless Broker back on Xandar.”

“The orb?”

“Oh, I didn’t tell you about that, did I? The orb contained the Power Stone. Didn’t know about it at the time. If I did, I wouldn’t have sold it. We ended up entrusting it to the Nova Corps. Great idea that turned out to be.”

Peter took a breath. “Why was Nebula ambushing you?”

“Huh?” Quill turned and looked at Peter. “She’s Thanos’ daughter. He sent her there to collect the orb for him, but decided she was going to double-cross him for _reasons_.”

“She’s Thanos’ daughter?” Peter repeated. 

“Yeah, didn’t really bode well for her when we were incarcerated on Kyln after the Nova Corps apprehended us.” 

“Why?”

“Well, it’s kinda public knowledge. People destroy half your planet and you tend to know who their family is.”

“Why did she decide to double-cross him?”

Quill shrugged. “Guess she just wanted to make up for the past or something. I don’t know. We usually don’t talk about this kind of stuff.”

“Do you like Nebula?” Peter asks. He doesn’t really know why he asked, but if Gamora weren’t here, maybe his affections had transferred over to her. 

Quill suddenly does a double-take. “Like that? Like, _like-like_?” He shakes his head vigorously. “Not my type. If she had a sister, yeah, _maybe_. But Nebula? No. Absolutely _not_. Not in a million years.” 

A beat.

“What, do you have somebody you like?”

“Me? N-no, I mean, I did, but then I managed to screw it up.” Peter was still having a hard time letting it go. He’d totally ruined everything about Liz’s night. First the dance, then the arrest of her father. She had no idea that he had anything to do with the latter, but he still felt bad about it. That dance was one of Liz’s last memories at Midtown before she left for Oregon and it just ended up being an unhappy one.

“What’d you do?”

“I showed up at her place for Homecoming, and her dad turned out to be this bad guy who was selling alien tech to other bad guys. He was going to hijack the Avengers' plane when they were moving to the new facility and steal a bunch of high-tech equipment. I ended up ditching her at the dance to go after him.”

Quill gave him a look. “That’s rough, buddy.”

“Yeah,” Peter said dismally. “She ended up moving cross-country because before the trial. It was her senior year.” That must have been hard.

“There’s plenty of people out there in the galaxy. Don’t sweat it. I wouldn’t. But someone will come along eventually. Just takes longer for some people than for others.”

The car in front of them finally started moving.

“ _Thank you_!” Quill shouted.

* * *

**PETER**  
Hey my friend’s gonna drop me off soon  
Were right down the road  
* We’re

 **MAY**  
Is he one of your superhero friends?

Peter looked over at Quill, who was still driving terribly, but less terribly now that the road was clear. The Cure’s “Friday I’m In Love” was playing on the radio, and Quill was cheerily tapping out the beat on the steering wheel as he drove. It was a big improvement in mood than he had been in twenty minutes ago.

Peter turned back to his phone and started typing.

 **PETER**  
Yeah, kinda

 **MAY**  
You know if he likes Thai?

Peter already knew where she was going with this. He pressed his lips together and looked over at Quill. He wasn’t sure what May would think of him. Peter thought he was fun, but the last thing he wanted was May to think that he was a bad influence. She didn’t really care for Tony. Maybe that’d changed after Titan, but with his fragmented memories, Peter couldn’t be sure.

“Do you, uh… Do you like Thai?”

Quill turned and looked at Peter.

“Yeah, love it.”

“You wanna come to dinner?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the patience while I got this chapter out. It was really fun to write -- and I hope it was just as fun to read. With a Steve and Tony quasi-reunion happening next chapter, I wanted things to be a little more light-hearted this round... though honestly, a Quill/May/Peter dinner has a good chance of being that, or a disaster. 
> 
> The chapters are getting longer and longer now, so hopefully that makes up for the lack of speed at which they're being put out. :]
> 
> A few Easter eggs in this chapter:  
> • "The Adventures of Pete and Peter" is one of my favorite shows from my childhood. Haven't seen it? You should.  
> • I kept typing Virmire (a planet from Mass Effect) every time I started typing Vormir. Lo and behold, I had Quill make the same mistake, so you've got a blatant Mass Effect reference in this chapter!  
> • There's a blink-and-you-miss it Avatar: The Last Airbender reference. Did you spot it?
> 
> Once again, a thousand thanks to my beta/editor **[theclockstruckone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theclockstruckone)** , who is absolutely amazing.
> 
> Thanks again for the support, comments, and kudos! Appreciate all of it!


	9. The Stark Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Steve talk.  
> Tony and Pepper talk.  
> Tony and Quill talk.

“Oh.”

It was not the word Tony Stark intended to say. He’d rehearsed the words in his mind probably a thousand times now, but they all evaporated on his tongue the moment he heard Steve’s voice. 

Tony knew he should have called. He knew he should have the second he opened the box and found the burner phone inside. When you set the whole “your best friend murdered my parents” thing aside, there was no reason why he hadn’t except he was embarrassed. Tony knew that of the two of them, Steve was the better man. He had always known that. And Steve was one of the few people who could make him feel inferior because Tony knew it.

Steve was also one of the few people that made Tony question the choices he made and rethink the things he did. 

Tony didn’t like that. He didn’t like feeling inferior and he didn’t like questioning himself. He wanted to believe that he knew better than Steve because knowing better than Steve meant that for once, _he_ was the better man. That was probably why he wouldn’t stop pushing Steve on the Accords. Why he couldn’t let go of the fact that Steve knew the part the Winter Soldier played in his parents’ deaths. As long as he clung to those thoughts and refused to let go, Steve wasn’t the better man. 

Steve was just a man.

Tony opened his mouth. He was on the verge of pushing something out when he was interrupted by the sound of Steve’s voice. 

“I saw your press conference. I would have reached out sooner, but communications have been down here for the last week. I’m calling you from a satellite phone while we try and get things back up and running. Hopefully that’ll be soon.”

“Yeah, glad to -- glad to hear you’re okay,” Tony said, trying to sound more casual than he felt. “The others, they doing all right?”

“We had our share of injuries, but that’s par for the course in our line of work.” Tony could practically hear Steve smiling into the phone. “Bruce is with us, too. He told us about the Time Stone and about everything that happened in New York.”

“Steve, I’m sorry for the way everything went down.” He knows there’s more that he needs to say, but it seemed as good a start as any. 

“I didn’t call for an apology, Tony.”

“I know you didn’t -- just let me apologize to you.”

Steve didn’t say anything.

“Everything with the Accords -- I let it --” Tony swallowed. “ _I let it get to me._ I let it get in the way. I let _my feelings_ get in the way.” Tony took a breath. “I should have called you sooner, but I didn’t.”

“I know,” Steve said. “We always would have helped. I wanted you to know that. It’s why I sent you the package. I wanted to give you time to figure things out on your own and come to us when you were ready.”

Tony knew that Steve knew. It sometimes felt like Steve was the one person who could see right through him. Tony might be the resident science and technology expert, but Steve _knew people_. It was what made him such a good leader. Steve was charismatic in a completely different way from him. Tony could inspire someone to sleep with him. Steve could inspire people to lay down their lives for a cause.

“I was ready. I was just too afraid to make the call.”

Steve’s silence said everything that needed to be said.

“I didn’t want another New York,” Tony said. “I didn’t want it when the Accords landed on our table and I certainly didn’t want it when Thanos’ rubes dropped out of the sky last week.” Tony suddenly felt very old. “I’m tired of things, people, places being wrecked because of us. Maybe not directly, but it’s still our fault.”

That’s why Tony had needed the Accords. Maybe Steve was right and he just wanted to shift the blame so he didn’t have to deal with the guilt of it all. He hated thinking that was the reason why he couldn’t budge on the Accords issue, but it probably was. How many people had died because of them? Because of _him_? 

“What would have happened if we weren’t there? If we weren’t any of the places we’ve been over the years? Our absence would make a bigger impact than our presence.”

“I hoped that our absence would mean that _there’d be no presence_ ,” Tony snapped.

It came out angrier than Tony wanted it to.

“What happened when you left Earth?” Steve’s voice was the pinnacle of calm. Tony rubbed his temple, spun around in his chair and looked at the clock. Pepper was probably pissed right now, but he couldn’t exactly end the call and ring her up to let her know he was going to be late getting down to bed.

He sighed into the receiver.

“There were three of us,” Tony said. “Me, Strange, and Spider-Man.” If Banner told them everything, there wasn’t anything else he needed to explain. 

“The kid from Queens.”

“He wouldn’t appreciate you referring to him as a _kid_ , but yeah,” Tony said, finishing the sentence quieter than it began. “ _The kid from Queens_.”

Relaying this story was worse than talking about his feelings.

“His name was Peter,” Tony said, and it’s not until the words left his mouth that he realized that he was already referring to him in the past tense. Like all of this was a lost cause. “I tried to ditch him, but he clung to the outside of the ship and made his way inside. By the time he found me on the ship, we’d already left Earth’s atmosphere.”

Tony listened to his words and thought that they sounded like an excuse for what was coming. He hoped Steve wasn’t listening to them and thought the same.

“We saved Strange and then the two of us argued. Titan or Earth. Strange wanted to go back to Earth and _I_ was thinking of New York. _I_ thought it’d be better for us to go to Titan. Bring the fight to Thanos instead of Earth. Reduce casualties. Reduce damage.”

“And you won.”

“Yeah. Hindsight’s 20/20.” Tony opened the lowest of his desk drawers and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He gave the bottle a shake; only the slightest sliver of liquid was still inside it. He set it back down inside the drawer and shut it. “Stupidest decision I’ve made recently -- and I’m a man of many stupid decisions.”

Steve laughed lightly.

“I don’t know what I was thinking.” Tony sunk back into his chair, reclining so far back that it tilted a little so he had an easy view of the ceiling. 

“You were thinking about the Earth. That isn’t stupid. None of us would want anyone here to get hurt.”

“Yeah, instead I took a _16-year old boy and a Time Wizard_ to a distant planet to take on the biggest threat the universe has ever known.” 

Tony felt himself growing angry again. He took a breath in an attempt to calm himself but found that he couldn’t.

“Tony…” Even Steve, it seemed, didn’t have anything to say to that.

“It was suicide,” he said. “And I did it anyway because I thought I could handle it and I _couldn’t_.”

“You still succeeded. Thanos is defeated. Whatever happened there, Tony, you still saved everyone.”

Tony felt like he was going to snap. He abruptly shifted his weight so his feet hit the ground with an audible sound. “Thanos isn’t dead,” he said. “I lied during the press conference.”

There was the briefest of pauses from Steve and Tony imagined he was trying to process what he just said. Tony could hardly blame him; he’d just unloaded a nuclear missile and sent it flying straight to Wakanda and there was no massive space portal in the sky to divert it to and no Iron Man to divert it with. 

“Where is he?”

Tony rubbed his face. “There were other people there -- people we met up with after we arrived on Titan. We had this big plan,” he continued. “A complete coordinated assault. It went perfectly, until _someone screwed it up_.” Tony didn’t want to have to explain the whole Quill thing and it probably wouldn’t help to place blame right now either. “Peter pulled the gauntlet off of Thanos’ hand while I was distracted by someone else and he put it on. Then _he and Thanos popped out of existence_.”

It took a moment for Steve to react and Tony couldn’t blame him. He couldn’t imagine how he’d react on the other side of the line. 

“What can I do?”

“What?”

“What can I do?”

Tony knew Steve didn’t hold grudges. Even before the old FedEx man dropped off the package that confirmed it, Tony knew Steve wouldn’t let their personal conflict keep him from doing the right thing. 

The only thing that could keeping them from mending their friendship was _him_.

Tony had plenty of time alone the last few days and sometimes when he wasn’t alone, no one around him really felt like saying much of anything anyway. It gave him plenty of time to think -- time he didn’t want to spend thinking because the more he thought the more upset he became and the more upset he became the more he wanted to drink and he’d promised Pepper he’d do better.

Just like he promised her he was done being Iron Man.  
Just like he promised her there’d be no more surprises.  
Just like he promised he’d be coming to bed.

The only thing he could think about was what he could do differently. What would be the one thing that he could have done to have stopped everything that happened from happening. The one thing -- _the one thing_ \-- he could have done to be sure that everything on Titan didn’t happen was to have called Steve in the first place, before the _yet-another-attack on New York_.

There was still that small and desperate part of him that wanted to cling to Strange’s words -- _there was no other way_. Clinging to that was no better than clinging to the Accords. It was an attempt to absolve himself of responsibility. If he had made other choices before then, there’d be more than one way to win in what felt more and more like a no-win scenario.

“Can I come see you?” Tony asked. He could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth. Earlier in the day he was dreading the idea of seeing Steve face-to-face, but now he wasn’t actually dreading it. “All this -- it’s going to be easier to explain in person. I need to talk to Vision, too, and that’s going to be its own thing.” Tony took a breath, waiting. 

“There’s nothing I’d like more right now.”

Tony found he believed it.

* * *

When Tony finally climbed into bed, Pepper was already asleep. He was pretty sure she went to bed pissed and he sure as hell couldn’t blame her for it. He'd have to figure out some way to make it up to her, though that probably would have to wait until after Wakanda.

Maybe he could bring something back. Something for their slowly-regrowing art collection.

Pepper shifted as he pulled the comforter over him. "Tony?" She was still half-asleep.

 _Busted_.

"Steve called. We talked."

Pepper immediately sat up. "What?"

"We talked," he repeated. "I'm heading to Wakanda tomorrow. _Today_. I'm not even sure what day it is right now."

"You can't just say you talked and not say anything else. How many years has it been since you two talked to one another?"

"Long enough."

"Are you going to say anything else?"

"It went well."

Pepper was frowning. She clearly wasn’t satisfied. It wasn't the first time and probably wasn't going to be the last. Still, she deserved an answer. Tony knew this, but he wasn’t sure he’d actually be able to produce one.

"I apologized. He said I didn't need to. I said I thought I did. Then I told him about Thanos and Peter and he said he wanted to help, so I said I'd stop by, and that's what I'm doing tomorrow."

" _Today_ ," Pepper corrected. "Are you sure you're ready to do this? It's one thing to have a conversation on the phone with him, it's another thing to have to look him in the eye and _talk_.” 

For a moment, Pepper didn’t say anything and Tony knew it wasn’t because she was finished. She did this sometimes when they had serious conversations -- the sort of conversations he usually tried to side-step, but Pepper insisted on having. She’d start off rightfully angry and push right through the walls he kept building up until she had tired him out. That was when they could finally have a productive conversation.

Tony’s walls were in short supply tonight. He wasn’t manic, the way he was sometimes when he wasn’t getting enough sleep. He was just exhausted and couldn’t manage to put up a serious front for Pepper to plow through.

“We have to be ready,” he said. “This isn’t about me. It’s about making sure that when Thanos comes back this time, we’re actually ready.” They didn’t have a lot of time to plan before Thanos’ alien pals landed and started ravaging the city. It was a miracle anyone actually lived in NYC anymore. Tony’d hoped moving the Avengers upstate would make some small impact on the number of catastrophes that frequently befell the city, but apparently not enough.

Pepper looked at him. Tony could see the real, legitimate concern in her eyes. With all the things Pepper needed to worry about, right now that worry was for him.

Tony didn’t want her to be worried for him. Pepper had worried enough and most of that worry came from his astronomically poor life decisions. When she finally spoke again, her voice was lower than it had been before. 

“Did you talk about Bucky?"

Tony hadn’t mentioned Bucky during the call. It’d been a deliberate choice. He should have been over it by now, but he wasn’t. Tony didn’t feel the raw anger that he felt when he threw himself into combat against Captain America and the Winter Soldier, but there was still something there that was aching with hurt. 

“I didn’t,” he said. “It’s better if neither of us bring it up until after we’ve beaten Thanos.”

“What if Bucky is there? In Wakanda?”

“It’s just one more thing on a very long list of things I’ll have to deal with.”

“I’ve seen how you deal with things. The way you deal with things is very rarely well _or_ healthy. There’s the stuff with Peter, the stuff with Thanos, the stuff with Bucky. That’s three things, Tony.”

“Two things,” Tony insisted. “Thanos and Parker count as one.”

“Three,” Pepper said. “And even if it’s one thing as you insist, it’s one very, very big thing.” Pepper reached out and placed a hand against his cheek. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this all alone, like you’re this _lone gunslinger_.”

“I’m not a lone gunslinger.”

Pepper tapped the arc reactor on his chest. “You’re not? Because I was under the impression that you started wearing this again to be Earth’s personal one-man army.”

Tony let out a sigh. Pepper was right. She almost always was. It was pointless to argue with her, anyway. 

“If you’re going to Wakanda, I don’t want you going without backup. I’m coming with you.” 

“I’ll add you to the list, then.”

“The list?” Pepper looked at him, perplexed.

“We have a few others that are going to be joining us.”

* * *

“All right, time to evacuate the area.” Tony clapped his hands together.

Tony Stark was standing in Quill’s bedroom at the safehouse where he arranged for them to stay. The tentative plan was to have them stay there for a few days, then bring them back to the Avengers Facility when he felt he could handle seeing Quill’s face long enough not to punch it. Sure, the safehouse lacked the homeliness of Barton’s family home and was a bit too sterile for Tony’s taste, but it was a place for them to stay that wasn’t their ship. 

He still wanted to punch Quill’s face, but like he told Pepper, this was bigger than him and his personal feelings. If they were going to defeat Thanos, they needed to work together. They couldn’t afford to let their personal grievances divide them like it happened with Zemo.

When Quill didn’t react to his grand pronouncement, Tony ripped the comforter off the bed, then wordlessly looked down at Quill. He was wearing boxers and a t-shirt.

Peter Quill turned in bed, then squinted up at him uncomprehendingly. “What are you doing, man? _I could be naked here_! What time is it, anyway?”

“2 PM.”

Peter Quill sat up in bed. He was still squinting, still trying to wake up. He rubbed at his eyes. “Aren’t you supposed to be pissed at me?”

“We're going on a little road trip." That wasn't really accurate, was it? " _Air trip_. We're going to Wakanda."

"Wa-what now?"

"Beautiful technologically-advanced nation in Africa. Never been there, heard nice things. Pack your bag. We leave in a half hour."

"Do I have any say in this?"

"You want to figure out what happened to Wonderboy.”

“Who?”

“The Spider-Boy. _Spider-Man_.”

Quill looked at him, utterly perplexed. “You sure you want me around?”

“Sure of it. Weird stuff has been happening, and you’re involved somehow. Or another you. We’re really not sure.”

Quill looked even more perplexed now than he did 30 seconds ago. “What?”

“Parker’s doing something and we don’t know what. We think it’s related to the Stones, but I’m pretty sure he was having a conversation with you when we were in the lab yesterday. He was rambling on about hyphens in your little superhero name.”

“It’s not a _little superhero name_. It’s my _name_.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Your _name_ , then. We heard him talking to you about your name”

“You’re going to have to take two steps back here,” Quill said. “Are you just _hearing_ these conversations out of nowhere?”

“Yeah, with reality apparently warping out of control. Current theory is that he’s misusing the stones, somehow. Given that reality keeps warping every time I start to hear him, the logical conclusion would be he’s misusing the Reality Stone somehow.”

Quill said nothing, but shifted one leg beneath the other. 

“We know what could potentially happen when the Time Stone is misused, but we’re hoping that talking with the person who has the Mind Stone might start to shed some light on what’s going on with the Reality Stone.”

“Who has the Mind Stone?”

“Friend of mine in Wakanda right now. Do you want to help figure out what’s going on with the kid, or not ‘cause the plane leaves in an hour and it’s going to take us 30 minutes to get to the facility -- and that’s if the I-87 isn’t backed up.”

“Okay,” Quill said.

“Is that an ‘I’m coming’ okay or an ‘I’m acknowledging what you just said’ okay?”

“It’s a ‘I’m coming’ okay.” Quill sounded defensive. 

“Good, because it probably would have been weird if you were the only one staying here.”

“Only one staying here?” Quill looked at the door, his mouth open. Tony couldn’t tell if he was actually, genuinely shocked, or just playing it up. “ _They were just going to leave me_?”

Tony decided then Quill was actually offended at the idea of his friends leaving him. 

“I was just as shocked as you are,” Tony deadpanned.

Quill let out an exasperated huff, then pushed himself out of bed.

“You have -- “ Tony glanced down at his smart watch. “-- 27 minutes to pack up. Car’s leaving then, with or without you.”

* * *

“I’m pretty sure your friend is a T-Rex.” Tony nodded a head towards Drax, who refused to buckle up, even when the plane was ascending. Tony had to shoo the fretful air stewardess away, which was an easy enough task when you owned the airplane you were riding in.

“What, _like the dinosaur_?”

“Yeah, like the ones in _Jurassic Park_. The ones whose vision is based on movement. Actual T-Rexes -- the real ones? They had really good eyesight.” He glanced over at Pepper. She was sitting next to Nebula, who was quietly reading something on a tablet. She and Mantis were engaged in some sort of conversation, and they had been for quite some time. Tony couldn’t explain why, but that made him uneasy.

“How do you know so much about dinosaurs? You some kind of dino freak?”

“Bought one. Or bought the skeleton of one. I had a dinosaur phase in my 20s --” Tony shook his head. “-- _doesn’t really matter._ ”

An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Tony didn’t have the slightest idea why he’d decided to sit with Quill when there was a good chunk of plane that could be separating them right now. Tony looked out the window. Ocean. Whole lot of ocean. Tony was going to be grateful when they were back on the ground.

It was then that Quill started to speak. 

“You know, I’m sorry about the whole --” Quill looked like he was trying to dredge up the words. “-- _Thanos thing_.”

Tony turned and looked at him. Quill might have been inarticulate, but he could see the guilt and remorse there on his face, plain as day. 

“I’m still dealing with Gamora,” he said. “And I get the feeling you’re dealing with something similar with your kid, too. There’s no bringing her back, but if there’s any way we can bring him back, I’m all in.”

It was only at that moment that Tony realized that he wasn’t the only one dealing with loss. He had been so preoccupied with _what_ happened that he didn’t take a second to even consider the _why_. 

Tony knew he should say something, but he didn’t know what. Pepper was always better at navigating these conversation than he was, but Pepper was currently letting Mantis hold her hand, which seemed a little weird to Tony, but he didn’t have time to really think about that now. He needed to say something because the silence between them was really starting to get awkward.

“Thanks,” he said. “I’m.” Tony swallowed. “Sorry about your girlfriend. If something happened to Pepper --” He glanced over at Pepper. She let out a little laugh as Mantis let go of her hand. She looked happy. “-- I’d probably lose it, too.”

No, he’d definitely lose it. Tony knew that much already.

“If I had just followed the plan, I could have gotten my revenge, Thanos would be gone-gone instead of just sorta-gone, and your kid wouldn’t be doing _whatever he’s doing_.”

“Strange said it was the only way, so whatever’s happening now is probably part of whatever screwed-up future he saw while he was doing the weird meditation thing back on Titan. And he’s not my kid, by the way.”

“I was never clear on that. Is this like, a Jedi Master/Jedi Knight-kinda thing, or is it a Jedi Knight/Jedi Padawan kinda thing?”

“There’s no Jedi involved here. He’s this kid that I picked up for _probably the wrong reasons_ , built a suit for, and now mentor sometimes, probably poorly.” Tony lifted a finger. “Scratch that, _definitely_ poorly.”

Peter had to get his poor impulse control from somewhere and it definitely didn’t come from May.

Quill clicked his tongue, then slowly began to speak. “Being a bad mentor and being aware of it is better than being a bad mentor and believing you’re good at it.”

Tony got the feeling that Quill knew from this from experience.

“Besides, no one’s actually going to get that shit right the first time. Or all the time. Even Doc Brown screwed up. And Gandalf? That guy was a master at _Doing. It. Wrong_.”

Tony didn’t get a single one of those pop culture references. Yeah, he’d seen Jurassic Park, but who didn’t see Jurassic Park? Everyone who was alive at the time saw it at least three times in theaters. “I’m just going to have to take your word for it,” Tony said. He took a breath. “Sorry for giving you a hard time.”

“Well, I kinda deserved it. Here I was, shooting my mouth off about how utterly perfect my plan was, and I was the one who screwed it up.”

“Two days ago, I would have agreed,” Tony said. “But being pissed off about the situation isn’t going to change anything about it. We’ve got to put egos aside if we’re going to win at this. You drink?”

“Yeah, of course I drink.”

He raised a hand to flag a stewardess. It was the same woman who was trying to coax Drax into a seat earlier.

“Two single-malt scotches on the rocks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for keeping you guys waiting! It's been a really ridiculously long month and this particular chapter was a tough one to tackle. A few fun things, and then onto the chapter-specific notes!
> 
> First and foremost, so much gratitude for [theclockstruckone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theclockstruckone), my amazing beta reader, and Nat, my amazing MCU nerdfriend, who I hit up for help when I was struggling with a quippy one-liner. I would have never survived this chapter without them.
> 
> Secondly, a fun little lagniappe (and apology for the lateness of this chapter) for those of you who are Spidey fans. I dug up some old photos of the Amazing Spider-Man Viral Event that happened during the release of the first Amazing Spider-Man movie. You can catch some pictures of my swag (Peter Parker's backpack!) and my night out graffitiing parts of Seattle wtih the spidey symbol (compeletely legally and with permission as part of the events) [here](https://imgur.com/a/JzUmcbO). I really should take more photos of what's in that notebook.
> 
> Chapter 10 is already about halfway through its first draft, so the next chapter should come much more quickly. 
> 
> Onto chapter notes!
> 
> * * *
> 
> Holy cats, was it ever hard to write the Steve and Tony interaction at first, but once I got a few chapters into it, everything else came easily. And by the end of it, I became a shipper. I have no idea what made this happen, but consider me bought into this ship now. 
> 
> I wasn't actually expecting any reconciliation to happen between Quill and Tony, but somehow, it just kind of happened really organically. As my beta said, Tony's trying to be the better man, and I really think he is. Tony knew that teamwork was what allowed them to disable Thanos on Titan. If there's a chance they're going to have to fight him again, teamwork might be the only thing keeping them from succeeding. He can't be a one-man army protecting the Earth this time. 
> 
> There's actually a mansion that faces Lake Washington with a huge glass room that houses a T-Rex skeleton you can see from the lake. It's the most ostentatious display of wealth I've seen in my years living here in Seattle. You can bet Tony would have a dino skeleton.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed! Thanks again for your comments and kudos.


End file.
